I am sorry but I had to edit your post due to the rules. We aren't suppose to talk about suicide, self harm or illegal drugs.
But I do understand why you would be depressed. You have been through a lot. Especially at such a young age.
I really have to suggest that you visit a counselor. As you have been through so much at this point. You would be able to get the support that you need and get some direction in your life as you seem to be at a standstill.
I have been through similar situations as you have, I have lost people at a young age, and I know that it isn't easy. But you will get through this. It takes time so go easy on yourself.
Know that we are here for you and want to see you get better. I really think that your first step should be to seek counseling, be it a school counselor or a mental health facility. Please do get help. You really need somebody to talk to about things that you can't mention on here.
I hope that you feel better soon, and know that we do care.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies