My husband used to be very unsupportive...he thought I was faking mydepression and mood problems. When I needed him the most, he would totally reject me, call me names and just be out and out mean. Without a doubt his treatment of me just made matters worse. That went on for about 20 years and I never had the courage or financial means to leave. even tho I knew that would be best for me. The worst part was I kept going to him, always thinkiing THIS time he would respond differently and be supportive. You know, I could write a novel on all the really rotten things he said and did. Thankfully, I had an excellent pdoc/therapist who stood behind me and gave me the support I needed. I really don't know when or how my husband started to change...he says it was when it dawned on him that I was not faking my struggles and sometimes craziness. Whatever, he slowly started to become far more supportive. He still has his moments that he can get mean, but that seems to be when I really backslide and my depression gets severe, and I think he starts feeling helpless in how to deal with me. He now goes to all my pdoc appointments with me and helped me get arrangements made for the U of M evaluation. At the request of my pdoc, he monitors my meds (because of threats from me to abuse the meds), but he manages the meds matter of factly and doesn't throw it in my face. I suppose because of all the years of him being so totally unspportive, I still don't trust him totally to not abuse or hurt me. But we have definitely come to a "truce" and for the most part work together rather than against each other in fighting this lousey depression. Last Christmas I was in no shape to handle Christmas at all, and the kids and husband pulled together and made Christmas happen. My husband even cooked dinner for 15 people while I just sort of floated around the house in a fog. And in the past I would have never heard the end of it, and he just took my being unable to do Christmas in stride. He has come a long way. But almost 2 years ago he lost his job and went thru his own bout of depression and I think it helped him understand that depression just happens and is often out of our control. So I don't know what to tell you, except I know from experience that an unsupportive, mean spouse can only make matters worse for you. Somehow you need to emotionally detach from him where he can no longer hurt you. I know how it is to long for him to be someone he is not....to keep going back to him in hopes that this time around he will be supportive. It doesn't sound like your husband will change and even tho, it sounds like you are trying to make a break from him (good for you!!) circumstances are keeping you tied to him. I would think that would be even more depressing. Just try hard to hang in there...go to people who will support you and treat you with respect. And I guess kind of count the days (or weeks, or months) that you can make a final break. You do need to be away from this guy.
Bi-polar I; rapid cycler; Lithium 600
Requip XL 8mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg