i don't know how to let go..

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/23/2010 4:59 PM (GMT -6)   
hi there..am new to the forum too. anyway,here's a brief of my story.. i am now 23 yrs.male. before, i thought i had it all figured out..i.e,my social life till a two years ago when i met this girl.it all went well til i developed an attitude bse i was going thru a tough time.she left me bse of this attitude.i kinda don't blame her coz i know we tried hard to work on our relationship. anyway,this left me devastated bse i thought i had tried so much to keep our relationship going. even months afterwards,i tried to get her back only to be met by the same answer..she didnt wana give it a try anymore.she simply wasnt into relationships anymore..so she said.
towards the end of 2009, year,approximately 4-5months after the break up..i hooked up with another girl whom i had known but weren't so close to.we had a good time till the we messed and she got pregnant.it was so sudden..so unexpected..i mean..we even used to tease each other  and joke about "pregnancy". none of us had contemplated sex bse we had begin clean friends.but it happened anyway. we disagreed on the decision thereafter..she wanted an abortion..she couldn't take being pregnant.i disagreed bse abortion was and is against my personal values.. we both weren't ready for a child but ad rather accept the situation than abort. anyway, she totally resents me now..even though she went ahead and aborted.i've tried countless times but failed to win back her.she claims i am unreliable.
in short,all this has made me lose hope and trust in people.. why is it so hard for people to forgive.. i wonder if i'l ever love unconditionally love anyone again. these people in my past seem to have a hold of me that i cant let it go and start afresh.some pse help.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 6/23/2010 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jabas,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am truly glad that you have joined us.

I am sorry that your friend resents you. She was just as much responsible for the situation as you were. But I guess she isn't thinking that way and blames you for her situation. I think that time will heal that one. She will eventually come around and realize what is what and talk to you again. You just have to be patient. What she did was a hard thing to do and probably effected her both physically and emotionally. So give it some time.

You will eventually learn to trust people again. That takes time too. It took me a long time to trust people but I am glad that I do now. Though I have very few friends. They are few and far between. You will learn that as you get older. Not that you are too young, but people come and go in our lives, and only a few keep in contact throughout the years.

I hope that you start to feel better soon. Life can be good. And you can be happy. Keep on trying.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 6/23/2010 5:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jabas

Welcome to the Healing Well Depression Forum.

I think you haven't met the right girl yet, as Karen said, you will have lots of friends during your life, they will come and go, the same with girlfriends, there will be many of them before you click with the right one and settle down.

The girl who had the abortion, I think she is probably messed up at the moment. She is probably feeling guilty and she will need plenty of time to heal, is she receiving any counselling? I think also you should seek some counselling to try and see your life and the issues that you are trying to deal, in a different light.

Good luck, I hope you will take my advice and seek counselling. Keep posting and let us know how you are going.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 6/24/2010 3:26 AM (GMT -6)   
karen and harrington make good sense. i am sorry for your loss, i feel you both need some time to heal. compassionate healings, jamie.

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 6/24/2010 9:38 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks alot..feels better.. i hope to take sometime too n let this scar heal. great forum!!
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