My minister taught me a powerful coping mechnamism for depression. I feel down all the time too. But I do reverse physcology basically on myself. Like for you:
If I kill myself what is my girlfriend going to think? That I don't love her enough? That I am not worthy of her?
I have a motherless 6 year old I play "mom" with (with permission from dad of course). So I tell myself: What will Dakota think? Will he think that I do not love him enough? Will he be mad at me? What will happen to him? Who's going to protect him and love him like I do? Who's going to take him to the park and read bedtime stories? Who's going to go on school field trips? Will he miss me? How will this hurt Dakota?
I realize when I think like that, I have someone depending on me. I also have a cat, whom I pet constantly, I talk to, etc. The cat is solely dependent on me.
DX: Wegener's Disease, Migraines, Diabetese Type II, PCOS, Lactose Intolerant, Benign Heart Murmer, Depression, Asthma, Asperger's Syndrome, Necrotizing Gramultous Inflamation in eye, A.D.D., Acid Reflux, Tumor Behind the Eye, Carpal Tunnel, Fibromyolgia, Clasterphobic, Arthritis
Medications: Tri Nessa, Percocet, Metformin, Prilosec, Protonix, Zantac, Advair, Cingulair, Albuterol, Calcium + Vitamin D, Pro-Air, Pepcid, Rolaids, Zofran, Compuzeen, Refresh Plus Eye Drops PRN: Epi-Pen, Albuterol Nebulizer, Benedryl
Undergoing Radiation Taking Lorazepam (Ativan) on Radiation Days