First of all, Lotskibob, thanks for sharing your story with us. I thought you did a great job of explaining the way things are for you. I don't think you give yourself enough credit in that.
You have certainly had a rough go of it. It's no wonder you have even tried to push your boyfriend away. You just aren't used to anyone caring. I met my now husband when I was 15. I was an abused child, and he was always there for me. At times I would try and push him away too, but he always stayed beside me.
What your parents have done in ignoring their children is a disgrace. From your story, I'm guessing you are about
17? Am I close? This means you will soon be out on your own...then you can form your own life the way you want. But for now, we need to deal with what you are going through.
Your boyfriend is right, and you need to see a doctor. Sorry the last one you went to was such a nut. But they aren't all like that. I've had some doosies myself over the years, but the majority have been good. I think you need to go by yourself to see the doctor. Your boyfriend could bring you there, but it would be a great idea for you to tell your story yourself - as it is your story afterall. There is a chance that you might need some meds, along with therapy, to get you out of this depression. I have taken meds for 20+yrs, so don't let that scare you.
Anyway - I just want you to know that there is hope, and you won't always feel this bad. There is so much help out there now a days. It just takes a bit of time to find it sometimes. I would work really hard to find the right doctor/therapist.
I just want you to know that you are a very important and neat person. I find much clarity in your words, and think you don't give yourself enough credit. Please continue to come here and talk with us. There is always someone around to answer back. Take care.
, obsessive-compulsive disorder OCD, depression
, anxiety, sleep apnea
fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.