I feel like im losing people

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/2/2010 9:48 AM (GMT -6)   

Recently I have been having huge mood swings which have lead me to feel depressed and sometimes enraged. Recently I told someone I had feelings for about how I felt, it went well, they didn't somewhat "freak out" but they seemed happy and promised me things wouldn't change. Recently she seems to not be talking to me so much and refuses to hang out with me by herself.

This makes me feel like im losing some of my closest friends as they refuse to hang out with me and will go see my best friend instead of me. It really gets to me and I get really depressed about it. A couple of days back I got really upset and my feelings suddenly went from sadness to anger, I attacked my concrete wall and broke some of my knuckles. I think i'm starting to be consumed by anger :( What should I do?

horse crazy
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 7/2/2010 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Extreme anger can be the sign of a mood change and part of a agitated depression.  However....You also sound very hurt be the actions  (or no action) by your friends.  It is very hard for a non-depressed friend to truly understand your feelings.  I think they try, but when push comes to shove, they just don't "get it"  which is very painful for you.  When you take a risk to tell a friend your feelings , I don't think they have a clue how "big" that is for you.  When they stop communicating with you, not only are you hurt but you can feel very let down.  For me, I start in on myself for being sp "stupid" to take that risk to begin with.  You need to tell only those you know for sure will understand (like on this board).  We have all struggled with the friend issue and have felt anger, sadness, betrayal, disappointment...you name it.  Please don't beat yourself up over it.  You are human....you have feelings and wanting to connect with others is prefectly normal  Depression can be lonely.  Enjoy your "normal" friends for what they are, but don't expect them to understand depression ( unless they have a problem with it too).  Please be kind to yourself  You are a good person  (who might have a bit of an anger management issue!!!!) and pounding concrete walls will not help you.  It is indeed a scarey feeling to feel like you are losing people.  You know, a persom only needs ONE really good friend...a bunch of friends is nice, but usually the connections are superficial.  In my darkest moments I can drive my family away with revealing too much of what I am thinking or feeling.  They always come back..thank goodness, and maybe your friend just needs to absorb what you confided in her and she will be back.
The hardest part of depression is patience.  Keep posting...we are here for you.
Horse Crazy
Bi-polar I; rapid cycler; Lithium 600
Requip XL 8mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/2/2010 11:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for responding :)

I explained fully how much she means to me, was pretty clear about it >< I'm also known as quite a calm person, she's never seen me angry or even frustrated, its only been recently that i've started to get this bad :(

Gonna drive down to my GP in a few, talk it out and see what's best, once again, thanks for responding x]

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 7/2/2010 12:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Rob,

I am glad that you have joined us. I totally understand your circumstances. I use to have that problem too of hitting things. I take a mood stabilizer now and that helps. I would definately talk to your doctor about this and get some meds and therapy.

People who don't have depression can't understand what we go through in our heads. Coming here is a good thing because we have all been where you are at. But I still think that professional counseling would be good for you.

Keep trying, never give up. Your friends will come around. Sometimes things happen and it is just coincidence that they are not there when we feel we need them. They could have other things going on in thier lives, or even having a bad day themselves. So try not to let this get to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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