Aurora, have you checked into lifeline? Are you sure it's expensive? There are other places that offer that service too. Here, I believe that you can sign up through the county and I don't believe there's a charge or it's nominal. It might not be a a bad idea to have one all the time anyway, not just when your sons are out of town.
There's also a service offered through the county here where a volunteer calls once a day just to see you're doing all right.
Could you call someone from church if you need help?
I know the loneliness when family is out of town. My sister is out of town more than she's here, but I've gotten kind of used to it.
Last summer my car was totalled when they were out of town. I called them on their cell phone and felt like I was so needy to have to talk to them when they were so far away. There was no one to give me a ride from the scene or give me a hug.
My dear niece and her 7 year old identical twins are in town right now. I was very disappointed when my sister nixed coming here before fireworks for ice cream. She wanted them to have 'smores before they left her house. I wish I could be more like her and just make decisions not agonizing over what the other person wants.
There's something about having the memory of your loved ones from out of town visit your home. Tomorrow we leave for the lake for 3 nights and they go home from there.
Sorry, I should't steal this thread from you by changing the topic. I've been in tears about this for two days now.
Just to let you know I understand your tears over the fear and loneliness you're worried about.