Aurora

Europe this Thursday. I am afraid I am going to have a real melt down. I have been trying so hard to stay positive and keep busy. I have been doing my volunteer work and classes. Only problem is every where I go people are so much older than me or the women are married and show no interest in being friends. I didn't make it to church this Sunday (shame on me) but it was so hot and I was so tired that I just didn't have it in me to get there. I hope God will forgive me for missing. Tomorrow I am going back to my old depression support group. I think it has been a good 18 mos since I last went. Didn't go last summer since I was so sick and missed the rest of the year while recovering.  I did take my son out for a send off dinner last night and we had a nice time. I gave him some extra money for his trip so that he wouldn't have to skimp or run out of money. Of course now I have to skimp and cut back but I guess this is what we do for our kids. I have my mother's old caregiver coming to stay with me every Thursday night while my son is gone so I will have nighttime company each week. It will help me a lot and break up the week. I will go to church every Sunday and that is probably my best bet to get to know people and hopefully make some new friends. I have written up a list of people I can call for emergency and the dog sitting service and the vet. I will give a key to my neighbor in case someone needs to get in to rescue me. I know I am being foolish, I think I will be fine. I will see my therapist every week now so that will help me to. My biggest problem is coming home to this lonely,empty house. It scares me when I am so lonely. On Saturday the phone only rang once and it was my son. You would think my friends have decided I have the plague and must keep away from me and not even call. I am sure I will be posting more come Thursday. Thank you all for caring and worrying about me not being here.

You will see a lot of me the next few weeks.

Siobhan, I got your email this morning. I am going to email you again because I too am worried about you.

Love to all,

Aurora

Since you have a dog, you probably wouldn't need to do that.

I was out of town with family last week and 7 year old twins wore me out so that I was glad to come home to a quiet house for a change! Had a great time though. When I'm rested up in a couple of days, I'll be very lonely again.

Maybe we should volunteer in a day care center or babysit and we'd appreciate the peace and quiet when we come home. I'm just kidding, really. I don't think I'd survive long there.

Keep posting here while your son is in Europe.

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies