Aurora

 

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Europe this Thursday. I am afraid I am going to have a real melt down. I have been trying so hard to stay positive and keep busy. I have been doing my volunteer work and classes. Only problem is every where I go people are so much older than me or the women are married and show no interest in being friends. I didn't make it to church this Sunday (shame on me) but it was so hot and I was so tired that I just didn't have it in me to get there. I hope God will forgive me for missing. Tomorrow I am going back to my old depression support group. I think it has been a good 18 mos since I last went. Didn't go last summer since I was so sick and missed the rest of the year while recovering.  I did take my son out for a send off dinner last night and we had a nice time. I gave him some extra money for his trip so that he wouldn't have to skimp or run out of money. Of course now I have to skimp and cut back but I guess this is what we do for our kids. I have my mother's old caregiver coming to stay with me every Thursday night while my son is gone so I will have nighttime company each week. It will help me a lot and break up the week. I will go to church every Sunday and that is probably my best bet to get to know people and hopefully make some new friends. I have written up a list of people I can call for emergency and the dog sitting service and the vet. I will give a key to my neighbor in case someone needs to get in to rescue me. I know I am being foolish, I think I will be fine. I will see my therapist every week now so that will help me to. My biggest problem is coming home to this lonely,empty house. It scares me when I am so lonely. On Saturday the phone only rang once and it was my son. You would think my friends have decided I have the plague and must keep away from me and not even call. I am sure I will be posting more come Thursday. Thank you all for caring and worrying about me not being here.

You will see a lot of me the next few weeks.

 

Siobhan, I got your email this morning. I am going to email you again because I too am worried about you.

 

Love to all,

 

Aurora

 

It sounds like you have really good plans for the upcoming weeks.  That is so smart of you to do.  It looks like you have covered most of the bases.  Now it is just one day at a time.  That is the best that we can do.

 

It has gotten hot and humid again.  We had a good rain this afternoon though and it cooled off some, but now the sun is trying to come out and it is hot again.  I so look forward to autumn, but dread what comes behind it.  We wont go there, okay?  lol...

 

Don't feel bad that you missed one day of church.  That is there for you when you feel the need.  So don't beat yourself up over it.  You will try to go next time, if you do, you do...  If you don't, well, you don't.  You still are a christian and carry the faith.  That is what matters anyway. 

 

I am glad that you are going to counseling weekly.  I would if mine was closer.  They are an hours drive one way.  So I go like every six weeks or so.  It works out to where I see the psychiatrist one time and the psychologist the next.  Back and forth.  It is working for me right now, and it saves me on gas. 

 

I hope that you have a good evening.  Take care,

 

Hugs, Karen

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  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

 

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

 

Since you have a dog, you probably wouldn't need to do that.

 

I was out of town with family last week and 7 year old twins wore me out so that I was glad to come home to a quiet house for a change! Had a great time though. When I'm rested up in a couple of days, I'll be very lonely again.

 

Maybe we should volunteer in a day care center or babysit and we'd appreciate the peace and quiet when we come home. I'm just kidding, really. I don't think I'd survive long there.

 

Keep posting here while your son is in Europe.

 

Hugs,

 

Aurora

 

Hugs,

 

Aurora

 

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies