Hello I'm new so heres a bit about me

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 7/12/2010 11:37 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm 18 and have been dealing with depression sense I was about eleven. I can't remember the exact year I started to feel the symptoms but I know it took me years to understand what was going on with my body and mind. When I spoke to a doctor about this they did not want to diagnose me because I was so young (13 at the time) but they were more then willing to give me medications that made me sick. It was upsetting that no one believed me or even understood what I was going through and I suffered alone for years. My parents are divorced and both have emotionally abused their children.
In May I married my husband. He is in the Navy and is the kindest and most caring person I ever met. I don't get to see him much because of his job but I knew what I was getting into marrying him. In three weeks I will be moving out of state with a friend and we will both be free of our family.
I have tried to work jobs and go out but when I leave my home I get sick and my body gets agitated. I end up having to go back home and spend allot of time in the bathroom with sudden diarrhea (which is embarrassing). It got so bad that I had to quit one of my jobs. The pain from that nervous sickness was to much to bear and I felt like I would pass out from it at work.
With all the changes that are happening in my life I have found it harder then ever to deal with my depression. I have tried numerous medications but they made me far to ill or did nothing at all. In fact I don't think I deal with it all so much as try and bear the pain until tomorrow.
Most of the people in my life do not understand how depression works and I try hard to explain it but I'm no doctor. Everything is ten times harder to do for me then a normal person. Getting out of bed, changing and remembering to eat regularly and healthy is a challenge. I have no energy most days and the pain I feel all over my body never stops. Lately I have become more lethargic and irritable. Most days all I feel is down even if there is no reason to be. I sometimes get this strange high as though I drank to much alcohol and sugar at the same time. It may only last an hour or so and rarely happens.
I really don't know what to do. My husband and best friend know about this and are very understanding and helpful but most of the time no one is around to help me so I do what I know keeps the pain and sadness at bay. I sleep. All day everyday if I have to. Some days I only wake up to eat and use the restroom. I know I can't keep doing this when I move. I refuse to keep up that cycle but I have never found a way to deal with this that worked well. I'm tired of medications and doctors that think depression only effects people in their 30's because it can effect anyone at any age. All I am now is tired.
Its gotten to where I wake up in sever pain and dizziness. I'm constantly dehydrated and weak. My sleep patterns are out of whack and I'm at my wits end. I really need help from someone who's sort of been there.
I know I can beat this but I don't know how. I know if I keep working at it someday it will get better and I can function. I have to think that or I don't know what I will do.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 7/13/2010 2:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mania

First of all welcome to the HW Depression Forum, you will find us a good bunch here and willing to offer advice and help, so you have come to a good place.

I am not a doctor, but I think you have more than depression. Is it possible you have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? That is what it sounds like to me with the way you describe your symptons. Can you possibly go to a new doctor or one that you like and possibly have blood tests done? Have you also thought about counselling? Sometimes it can help to talk to someone neutral, who knows nothing about you and just vent what is inside you.

Congratulations on your marriage, you sound like you have a good man there. I too was married young but I was 19 and we are still together after 37 years, I married one of the good ones. I hope you have a long and happy life together.

Please keep posting and let us know how you get on. But I think I would get another diagnosis as it does seem like there is more going on there than depression. Maybe that is why the meds are making you sick, possibly. Just a thought anyway.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 7/13/2010 3:12 AM (GMT -6)   
congrats from me too. welcome to the forum. would see your doc, i think harrington makes a good point. sorry net has been down. with compassion, jamie.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/13/2010 7:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Mania_saae,
I slept for two years.  No kidding...  I have fibromyalgia too though.  All I could do was sleep.   I feel like I lost those two years, but what can you do? 
You could have chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia.  Neither of them can be done by blood work or exrays.  You have to do a series of tests to rule everything else out.  It can be a long grueling process, but it is worth it to get a diagnosis. 
I really do understnad what you are goint through as I have been there too.  Let yourself sleep when you feel like it and do not feel guilty about it.  You need that rest.  And hopefully with the rest, you will get some good days.
I would talk to a doctor and get these test started so that you can get a diagnosis quicker.  It is hard process to go through, but oh so worth it.
Let us know how you are getting on.  We all care about you.  You have come to a good place.
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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