First of all, welcome to the depression forum. You seem to have a lot going on in your mind right now, and I suggest that you try to slow down your thinking process to let yourself catch up.
Secondly, cervical cancer isn't always sexually transmitted. So don't blame your grandfather for something that he might not have done. He may not have been unfaithful to your grandmother.
Thirdly, not all medications cause you to feel loopy. Many of them make us think more clearly. You may have just been put on the wrong med. So think about talking to a doctor and get back on medications. Let them know your past experiences.
I am thinking that it would do you some good to get into counseling. Many of us here are and it does a world of good. I think you could possibley change your perspective on life and that it would help you a lot. It does us good to talk to an objective person most times.
You are still very young. You have a lot of living to do. And you say that you have friends but you don't hear from them much. But that is how it goes. I am sure that you will hear from some of them in the future as they are getting their lives sorted out. People get busy and don't keep in touch, but if they are good friends, they don't forget you. And in the future they will look you up. So don't get discouraged with that situation. If a person has two good friends in their lives, they should consider themselves lucky. Friends, good friends, are few and far between. And that is the truth.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We all do care about eachother here and like to know how eachother are.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies