A little note..

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 7/17/2010 5:33 PM (GMT -6)   
This might be the last post I put on this forum for a while.. Not because I'm going to do something stupid or anything, but because as much as I love you all, even typing/reading has begun to be a hassle.
After quitting therapy 4 or 5 weeks ago, and hoping to quit meds, I've pretty much decided to team up with my depression, because it's really all I'll ever know.  Some people get infected by depression after an earlier, happier period, and they don't feel normal so they know that they have depression.  Not the case with me.  I was born depressed, and I've come to face the fact that I am, and always will be, depressed. Maybe it's just my personality, since I've never known anything different. No amount of drugs (or supplements.. bluck) are going to be able to fix my depression though, and that's for sure.  Even if I am lacking chemicals in my brain, no matter what drug I'm on, I'm never going to happy with the results (even if the results, in fact, cause some form of happiness).  Because in all honesty, I feel brainwashed on drugs, and that feeling is worse than being depressed.
So for now I just wanted to say thanks to you all for the support.  From the first moment I came on this forum it helped me, and continues to help me.  And if I can find the energy to keep reading the posts of others, even if I don't respond, know that I am behind each and every one of you, through even the darkest times.  And thanks, for everything.  I hope to feel a little better if I make it to college late August, so maybe I'll talk to y'all then. confused

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/17/2010 8:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Neverbetter,
I think that you will find college to be a lot of fun.  You are learning and stimulating your brain.  And it is structured.  It is a challenge too and that is good for us.
I hope that you find the strength to post.  I often find when I post and help somebody else that I feel really good.  I wish it could be that way for you too. 
If you do leave, stop in and let us know what is going on with you, be it good or bad.  I will hope for good.  In the meantime, try to take life one day at a time.  Try not to think about the past, and try not to worry about the future.  Stay in the moment. 
I am sorry that medications aren't working out for you.  Has the doc mentioned anything else?  Such as ect?  Or a vegas nerve stimulator?  There are other methods of treatment.  Though I just use medications and therapy. 
I hope that you feel better soon.
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 7/17/2010 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
yeah, NB my depression is the same, i just continue to fight. i do hope that things improve for you. maybe the focus on college will help deflect it somewhat. pls remember i am always here for you. pop by and check in from time to time, i don't want to lose you from the community. and it would be good to know how you are doing. love and healings, jamie.

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