I've been in two long distance relationships before...they're difficult to say the least. Both times I found myself worn out and depressed because I had no control over any situation either of the two guys were telling me about...sooner or later we just drifted apart. Now I know that's not necessarily cheerful news for you, but I did learn a few things from both experiences. The first being both parties involved have to be commited and able to communicate. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are having issues with that and understanding each other. It seems like your current boyfriend needs to re-evaluate the way he treats you, he shouldn't be ignoring you and treating you poorly at some times and then making you feel guilty when he decides to be nice. I hope you've tried to communicate that the hot and cold treatment is not working for you and making you feel down. If your relationship is long distance communication should be fairly easy for you by now so hopefully you two can work on that. Another thing I learned is that when you fight with someone your with and its long distance, the hurt feeling stays with you longer since you can't just confront it face to face and settle things. What I did in that situation is just stop thinking about the negative first, then found something to distract me(personally chores works for me--I clean and organize when I'm upset) but whatever works for you, and then go back and think about what should hav happened differently.
Honestly, I think right now you should be focused on keeping yourself happy. Go out and do something that makes you feel happy and keeps you entertained. Focus on some personal time. If you need to talk to someone in person about what's making you upset, go for it. Surely someone you know is a good listener, if not, we are =) I really do think that in your situation some "me time" as I call it, is necessary right now. You aren't letting yourself be happy because your focusing on all the negatives when surely there is a positive somewhere!
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there”