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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 7/23/2010 11:14 PM (GMT -6)   
After thinking things over I decided there was no way I would let a former drug addict live with me. I gave my friend the ultimatum and shes thinking it over. In the mean time my mother spends half the day yelling to me about things I can't control. I have to face the fact that I may spend the next year entirely alone and all I can do is cry. All I can do is try and finish school where ever I end up. Try to find a therapy that works. Somehow I have to keep trying to get things done by myself.
In this whole situation no one asks me what I want to do. I have no say in where I live or if I even get to see my husband. My family does not understand how my depression makes it almost impossible for me to do anything except grieve. I have no support or understanding at home. All I have is myself and the hope that this will work out somehow and be worth it. Everyone is mad and yelling at how this is inconvenient for them. Yelling about how they can't make time for their daughter who is clearly in pain. Yelling about how they can't keep me around anymore. I don't fit in, I'm no longer welcome.
Thats all they have to say to me. "You need to leave."
I just hope somehow my husband gets enough time off to get an apartment for me and take care of everything. As soon as I know I'm on his insurance I'll go see someone about this. But right now I have no insurance and no family. I know I said earlier that my mother in law would be there for me but in truth shes always working and I rarely talk to her.
I'm stuck in the middle with everyone going around me and making choices without even talking to me. I can count on one hand the number of times I have been able to talk to my husband. This whole thing is tearing me up inside.
I've never been in control of my life and it looks like I have to wait longer then I hoped for that to happen. The only thing I can do about anything right now is cry. I have no one near by who can help me or even understands whats wrong with me.
Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

Anton Chekhov

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/24/2010 11:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,
I can't remember if I gave you this site or not but it is free and seems to be helpful to members.
I hope that you feel better soon.  I am glad that you might not let that guy move in.  I think it would be very toxic for you.
Best wishes for a better day.
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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