I cant escape this feeling of misery over a girl... dont laugh when you see why.... please answer

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/14/2010 5:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I've always felt like a confident guy. I've also always thought that it is kind of ridiculous to develop feelings for someone that you have never met face to face. I'm eating my own feelings. I've developed feelings for someone that I met through a game. It didnt start then. It kind of began with meeting her within this game, then adding her on facebook, then actually talking to her. We've just had such deep conversations. I cant do proper justice to it over here. Lets just say that she has shared things with me that she has never shared, and I have never found that I have more in common with anyone that I do with her. I've been talking to her all the time for about a week now. I just hate this for some reason. I feel completely miserable. I'm barely even eating. I've always thought things like this are ridiculous, in fact, I am still telling myself that it is. This doesn't make any sense. I'm not being logical. It's just one of those things where I just know. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I have never felt this way.

Here's the bad part: she has a boyfriend. Now, I've been talking to her, and she is not satisfied with him, and will likely break up with him soon. He is not a good guy. This sounds crazy, but my instincts are good. I have never been wrong about a thing like this. I can hear the sincerity in her voice. This doesn't make any sense for her to do and not be sincere. By the way, just fyi, I live in Georgia, and she lives 5 hours away in Florida. I am 20, and she is 17.

I know, this sounds absolutely ridiculous, I agree, and don't think I am somebody who is prone to developing feelings for somebody they have never seen face to face. I've talked to her a lot. I'm not a fool. Now, I do feel like an idiot for ever pursuing anything this darn ridiculous. But I can't help the way that I feel. I can't help that I feel absolutely miserable. Believe me, if I could just get rid of this, I would. But I can't. Last night, we literally talked nonstop from about 12:30 to 5 AM.

I have a plan. I am going to talk to her tonight and see what is going on with her boyfriend. I am not doing anything else until that is resolved. I will try to say it in a flirty and humorous manner like "You know, the more I talk to you the more I think to myself about how much it sucks that you aren't single and that you live so far away". Is that a good idea? I think it would be interesting to see how she responds to that.

Here is the main reason I made this thread. I want to not feel miserable. I want to go back to actually being able to enjoy myself. I want to go back to actually being able to feel hunger. How can I do this? I just want to not hurt anymore. I don't want to hear that this is a lost cause, or that I am playing a fools game. All I want is advice in how to go about this, and how to go back to actually being in a decent mood.

Let me reiterate, I know how crazy this sounds. Also let me state that everything that i am saying runs on the condition that she breaks up with her boyfriend. I am not going to help someone cheat. Let me also say that yes, I am not blind, I do have a small amount of suspicion over this. Just trust me on this, I KNOW that I am right here. I've always been a guy that knows a good thing when he sees it. I haven't been wrong on something like this before. I just need ways to cope with this misery, and some advice to push me in the right direction.

Post Edited (GavinB) : 8/14/2010 5:09:59 PM (GMT-6)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 8/14/2010 6:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry that this relationship is making you so miserable.  You have to understand, you are going into this blind.  You have no clue as to who this person is until you meet them.   So don't let an internet relationship mess up your life. 
Here we deal with depression issues.  This is a relationship issue.  But I would like to say why don't you just stay friends for now, she has a boyfriend.  She is across the country from you.  And you have no clue as to what you are getting into.  Her boyfriend might be in a gang for all you know. 
I think you are taking a huge risk and letting something that is so unsure control your life.  Best wishes.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 8/15/2010 7:17 PM (GMT -6)   
As a person that has met 3 individuals in real life that started as online friendships, I feel obligated to post on this. First of all, it's not ridiculous. You are going into it blind, so I hope you have proof that she is who she says she is. I had proof via webcam, so I could tell who I was microphone chatting with and webcaming with. I never had an issue with someone not being who they say they are, but things change once you meet. I have lost contact completely with the person I was the closest to for over a year. Having these feelings might not be worth your while, but I would never say not to go for it. Your issue here is that she has a boyfriend. Don't put yourself in the middle of their relationship any more than you already have. Let her work out what she wants to with her boyfriend and don't coax her into anything. If she says that she's single sometime you should also understand that she might not be ready to explore the feelings she has for you after that happens, or at least in the immediate future after that. I think what you need to do right now is give it time. There really isn't anything else you can do without putting yourself in the middle, which I don't advise. And you shouldn't let your feelings control what you do during the day...i.e. not eat. You have a life, keep up the routines you had before you started talking to her. It's crazy to let all of your personal needs go by the wayside.
If you do explore the possibility of meeting her face to face, you should shoot me an email. I have loads of experience with that =P But for right now, just do the right thing and let her handle her current relationship.

"Dreams don't always have to exist while the sun's down
and your eyes are shut."
-Alex Gaskarth

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 8/16/2010 5:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Wait until she is 18 before you ever go and meet her - also, she could be lying about her age. You are actually helping her cheat on her boyfriend by being so close in this long distance friendship. Keep your eyes open. Hope everything turns out ok.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy.
meds - fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17
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