First of all, welcome to the HealinWell Depression forum. I am so glad that you have joined us.
I am glad that he is going to counseling, and I think you should too. You will have methods on how to cope with what has happened and extra support.
I am not going to tell you this is going to be easy because it probably isn't. But have patience with him and with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve, be angry, be hurt, or whatever it takes. You sound like you want this relationship to work. I am happy for that. Though I am sorry for what he has done to you.
I do agree with you that it sounds like he is looking for something to blame, and I think that is normal. He will face what he did, in time, and he will recognize that it wasn't your fault in any way. I think it was just the situation. Being away and all. But that doesn't mean that you have to forgive and forget all of a sudden. Like I say, it takes time.
Be good to yourself through this. Understand that all reactions are probably normal. Don't expect too much from yourself at this time. If he doesn't understand, explain that it is going to take time for you to get through this. But I do recommend counseling for you. Maybe even couples couseling for the two of you. Having a professional in the middle would help the situation.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Know that we all care about you.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies