Just started a depression funk

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 186
   Posted 8/18/2010 10:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Ugh.  Started as soon as I woke up.  It's everything and nothing.  First off, my father in law passed away and of July.  I stayed strong for my husband and his family.  I didn't break down and I wasn't depressed. 
I've been reading this book about a Medium and some of her experiences with readings.  It brought up memories of my grandparents.  There was more than one point in that book when I cried.  Still not done reading it.  But I truly believe that spirits of loved ones are watching us. 
Anyway, I don't know if that caused the depression.  It just came on suddenly.  My anxiety meds are helping but I still can't seem to shake this feeling that something is wrong.  That I'm waiting for the last shoe to fall and I'm dreading it.
I can't even explain it.  I just feel sad for no real reason.  I know I had been hypo manic during the funeral time.  This could just be simply the fall out.  But I haven't been really SAD for a long time.  Like I could  just ...
That's it.  Like I could completely lose it and have a breakdown.  It's like I'm very close to feeling the way I felt when I went into the hospital the last time.  But why?  I have to hold myself together.  It's like you have this band aid on and it's losing it's stickiness.  You're pulling on it trying to keep it on to cover the wound but it keeps loosening up.  I feel like if that band aid comes off I'll fall apart.  This too shall pass.  One minute, one hour, one day at a time.  Man, this is hard.  I'm getting too old for this crap.
Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder (and about a dozen other things)
300mg Lamictal
90mg Pamalor
60mg Prevacid RIP
2mg Niravam (Xanax)

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 8/19/2010 1:52 AM (GMT -6)   
i hear you. i think it is time 2 see your doctor. maybe a med adjustment is in order. sometimes we get triggers that spike our emotions, this may have happened. i send healing prayers your way. we all live with depresion on this forum, thus we understand. keep as busy as possible, roominating will only endulge your mind to think-and at a time like this the mind can spew out some icky stuff. we are here for you. jamie.

the mad professor.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42608
   Posted 8/19/2010 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Stormienite,

I hope that you feel better. I do agree with Jamie, it is probably time for a talk with the doc to help you.

Take care my friend, and keep posting to let us know how you are doing. I really hope that you feel better soon.

I liked your discription of the bandaid, that is irritating, like depression is. Good explanation...

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 8/20/2010 1:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Stormienite

I agree with the others who have recommended you have a talk to your doctor. I think you and your family have been through a very significant event in your lives, (sorry for the want of a better description), losing a parent or loved one is especially hard and it seems like you have had to be the strong one through the whole process. It sounds to me like you are all in the grieving process and this takes time.

I hope your doctor is understanding and can help you. Maybe some grief counselling for the whole family would be beneficial also. I hope you will keep posting and let us know how you are progressing.
Kind Regards

Harrington 49
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