So to begin, I'm a 22 year old female and i've been suffering from depression for 6 years now. But within the last year it's gotten very unbearable, and I have no one to talk to about it. So i'm reaching out on here. Nice. I feel completely paralyzed, I have no social life, what so ever. To be quiet honest, I've spent the last year in my bedroom. And I hate it. I'm 22 and i've never had a relationship, and I think that i'm a pretty decent looking girl, everyone tells me that i'm beautiful, but apparently theres something wrong. I don't work, I come from a small town, so therefore there's not alot of options. Everything I try to do, I feel as if I get knocked back into my place. Your basic bottomfeeder. I recently tried to go to college, but that blew up in my face completely. I can't afford it, and I have to have a vehicle. Which I don't, because I can't get a job. I try and try. I've basically given up. I've came to terms that i'm a complete shut in. This has been one of the toughest years that i've faced. I lost an uncle in November. Then in Jan. another uncle overdosed, Then in April, my first cousin was brutally murdered by her boyfriend, and the day she died, we found out that another uncle has cancer, and they just gave him 2 weeks last friday. I keep trying to keep my head up, I keep telling myself that it could be so much worse, and I know that it could be. I just don't know how to handle any of it, besides shutting myself up in a room. Almost all of the friends i've ever had, end up trying to use me. I have like 2 friends now, that I talk to maybe once a month. When I try to talk to my mom about things, she cuts me off, and tells me that she went through the same thing.. or she knows someone who's going through it.. this and that..and when i try to talk to her about my non existant love life, she tells me to hush, that i'm a good girl....Ugh. I just get so frustrated. But it's my fault. And I'm sorry for all the "woe is me" and the self loathing. I needed to get it off my chest and some helpful advice.