A little bit about me: i'm 18, male, starting college, love music, guitar, and video games. Lately I've been wondering if im depressed which is a stupid question - im 99% sure im depressed, but I want to see what others think and their advice on what I should do. I'll just make a list and tell you everything wrong about me or what I want to change. After starting college and being able to "start new" I've been thinking about a lot of these things. I know that my "symptoms and problems" don't seem as serious as a lot of other topics by people I've been reading... but all this stuff added up has gotten me pretty down for the past couple weeks/months.
- I have zero self-confidence.
- Don't have any self-esteem either.
- I am extremely pessimistic and I over-think every single thing way way too much. - this makes me a horrible decision maker as well.
- Even though I love playing the guitar, it feels like such a chore to actually go and pick it up - however when I do pick it up (rarely 1-2 times a week when I SHOULD be playing everyday) I don't put it down for a long time.
- I started college this week and the stress is starting to get to me. I already feel like im really far behind and I cant focus on the work either... and its been what, like 1 day??
- im pretty positive i have some sort of social anxiety disorder - im normal with my friends but im really terrible at and hate public speaking, icebreaker-type things, etc. and its really really hard to make new friends and "put myself out there."
- im also pretty sure that i have something along the lines of a disease called "globus hystericus" which is another type of anxiety disorder - I've had this probably since I was 12 years old, but never researched it until recently; it didn't help that multiple doctors and therapist said there was nothing wrong with me.
- I keep stressing about trying to impress girls and whatnot. I've never had a girlfriend and I have a mindset that my life is just empty without one and that getting one will get rid of every single problem I have in life.
- Being addicted to video games is also a really big thing for me. For the past 8 years, I was/am an addictive gamer and its pretty much ruined my life. I'd play 5-10 hours a day minimum, and im guessing thats where my problems of social anxiety disorder, and having no self-confidence/esteem started up because I never did anything all throughout middle and high school except sit at home and play games all day which probably affected how I am today.
What can I do to change these things? I think the majority of all my problems is about my mind and my way of thinking. Would CBT, medicine or something else be best for me? Am I really depressed or am I just overreacting?