I need some advice on how to cope with severe anxiety and depression. I have no insurance and very little money, so treatment is out. I would like to speak with a counselor or psychologist (I did once in high school and it actually helped me a lot), but again, no money. I don't know what to do. any advice would be greatly appreciated. I have been coping with this problem since I was young, was treated at the age of 17 and been on anti-depressants on and off. For years I have chosen to. It helps.
So I have severe social anxiety that can often be crippling. I worry all the time about unexpected catastrophes. I have no self worth and very low self esteem that is only getting worse as I get older (I will be 29 next year). On top of that, I have a committed 3 year relationship with a type 1 diabetic. He is 40 and has been diabetic since he was three. He started having frequent hypoglycemic episodes about a year after we began dating. For those that don't know, that means his blood sugar levels drop dangerously low (sometimes quickly) and he will start shaking, then go mute, then start having grand mal seizures. If left untreated, low blood sugar can cause eventual coma or death. When this happens, I have to give him glucose (usually chewable tabs, liquid, or if he is seizing then gel under the tongue) and wait for him to come back around. It is the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. It happened countless times over the last two years, in the morning, during the day, in public, in the middle of the night. He has been checking his levels more often lately and has adjusted his insulin, mostly after having three seizures in one week, one while he was at home alone. Thankfully he came out of it on his own, as he sometimes does. So it has improved some, but my anxiety has not lessened.I am scared to death of the one time he doesn't come out of it. Scared I may find him dead one day. I am afraid to be away from him. Scared the entire time I'm at work if I don't hear from him for too long. Scared while we are sleeping. I have to sleep right next to him in case something happens. I just cancelled a trip because I was afraid to leave him for an entire weekend. It is causing us both misery. We argue a lot because I constantly need to ask him if he's ok, or call and check on him while he's sleeping. He can be very verbally abusive sometimes. I do love him, and I can't leave. He's all I have and I feel like if I left he would most certainly die. I can't talk to my family or friends. They have no idea how sad and despairing my life is (because I hide it and pretend everything is great). I have few friends, and none who would understand. I am just tired of this. I have nothing to look forward to in my life except more pain, misery, and disappointment, and nothing but a series of failures in my past.
I feel like giving up. What do I do?
Please read forum rules, we are not allowed to discuss marijuana, even if it is medical. Thank you for understanding...
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 8/28/2010 9:09:33 PM (GMT-6)