Hey everyone.. Just checking in. I guess I'll explain the title of my post first; I wish I wasn't back on here, because when I don't find the need to get on this forum, I'm not too low in my depression. But I'm feeling super depressed today so I thought I'd just come on here and vent..
I think a lack of sleep can trigger depression, so that's probably part of my problem. Even worse, though, after such a great summer, I'm at college for my first time and this is only my second day. I know I should give it time, and that the first few weeks are the toughest, but oh goshhhh! My first problem is that I have a single room (which is good in some ways), so it's really hard to meet people on my floor. Plus, without a roommate, I'm usually walking around alone and even though I've had convesations with people, I can't remember who they are or where they're from or whatever. And my R.A. isn' t much of a help, despite the fact that she's studying to be a psychologist .
Classes haven't started yet, and this is orientation weekend, so there's a bunch of activities going on. I've tried to go to as many as possible, but after a while it just all seems so pointless (hence, why I'm hiding out in my room). I miss my family and my home already, and it's only been like 48 hours! And I'm very anxious about everything, despite the Buspar that I'm currently on paired with my Welbutrin... I keep having horrible panic attacks and I just feel really dirty... Like... Other people's germs are everywhere! Tonight I think I'll just skip dinner so I don't have to face sitting alone in the cafeteria... I mean, yeah, I could talk to random people, but it seems like everyone else has at least one friend here and I just.. Don't.
Argh I'm so nervous!! Do you think that this will get better once classes start?! I sure hope so... Urgh..
Thanks for reading.. I'll probably be back a lot more now, lol. Hope all is well!