It sounds like you are suffering from depression. You have a lot going on and I know that your job is important to you but can also be a source of stress with long hours and no time to take off. It appears that your family takes advantage of you. Can you distance yourself from them for a while and tell them you are working hard and do not
have the time to give them. I don't know if this is your parents or siblings but if they are all adults they can figure out their own problems without dumping everything on you.
You need to be kind to you and take care of yourself. Does the hospital where you work
have a refereral service? You might be able to get the name of a therapist. Also do you
live in a community that has a family service agency? That is where I found my therapist many years ago and she has literally saved me. If you do have depression you need to see someone and have an intake session to determine your situation. You may need an
antidepressant. So many people do not want to take these meds but it may be necessary. I didn't know for years why I felt the way I did and when I talked with my
therapist she suggested I see a psychiatrist to evaluate my feelings. It turned out I had
been suffering depression for years and just thought I was sad and had an unhappy life.
The psychiatrist prescribed meds for me and it took several tries before I got the right one and it has made such a difference for me. I only see the psychiatrist every six months for my prescriptions and otherwise I see my counselor for talk therapy. You would be surprised how helpful a neutral person can be. They can help you see how to best help yourself and what you can do to better your life. If you don't have anyone to ask about a therapist try a referral from a hospital or see if there is an agency where you live. You don't have to feel like this. Once I got help I was able to live a much more fulfilling and happy life. Not everything is perfect, I have had my share of ups and downs but the best thing I did was to get help. I wish you the best
and please post again to let everyone know how you are doing.