I began taking Lexipro 8 weeks ago. I was also fighting taking medication as I don't like to add anything to my body, but I finally decided I needed to do it. I was like you, fine one day - have 3 bad days, fine a few days- few bad weeks. I didn't really understand how bad my depression was until I started taking the Lexipro. I was given my life back- the life I had before the depression. When I first started taking it I took it at bedtime to minimize symptoms. I had a monster headache for 2-3 days and was a tiny bit sick to my stomach, but that all passed in the first 3 days. I woke up feeling absolutely normal!!!!!!! No dark cloud over my eyes, no major stress, lots of patience, and a pleasant demeanor. It is wonderful.
I have been told that one must stay on the medication for 6-8 months and be evaluated through out before going off. Many are then able to stop meds and give that a shot. If you have 2 or more major depression states after that you may have to go back on for another 6-8 months and try going off again. If that doesn't work again you can discuss the options with your psychiatrist. It is best to have that professional guidance to get the best possible diagnosis, prescription dosage, and long term outcome. Your happiness and future are worth trying it. It sounds like you care a lot about your health and well being. Don't let fear of the unknown keep you stuck in this unhappy place.