URGENT/DEPRESSED/NEED HELP AND ADVICE

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Karime
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/19/2010 5:33 PM (GMT -6)   
HELLO,
I AM NEW HERE, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME AND THE REASON WHY I LOGGED IN IS BECAUSE I FEEL THE NEED OF A STRONG ADVICE OF WHAT TO DO OR WHAT IS BEST FOR ME TO DO. I FEEL EXTREMELY LOST,SAD, DEPRESSED, LOW SELF ESTEEM, AND SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE JUST BEEN IN SLEEP FOR EVER. I DONT HAVE ENERGY FOR NOTHING. I HAVE BEEN DATING THIS GUY FOR SEVERAL YEARS, SINCE WHEN I WAS 16 AND NOW I AM 25, I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS BECAUSE I AM SO ATTACH TO THEM AND I LIKE TO HELP THEM OUT IN EVERYSINGLE WAY I CAN,  MY LIFE HAS BEEN HARD WITH MY BOYFRIEND. I AM VERY INDEPENDABLE GIRL AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL, HONEST AND RESPECTFUL TO MY BOYFRIEND. BUT MY BOYFRIEND AT FIRST WAS A CONTROL FREAK, HE CONTROLLED MY LIFE FOR YEARS AND STILL DOES TILL THIS DAY. I DIDNT HAVE A NORMAL LIFE BECAUSE OF HIM. HE HAD ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT IF I GO TO NIGHCLUBS WITH MY FRIENDS AND THAT IF ANYBODY WOULD TELL HIM THAT THEY SAW ME, HE WAS GOING TO BREAKUP WITH ME BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE HUMILATION TO HIM. BECAUSE OF THAT I HAD ALWAYS BEEN IN MY HOUSE, FIRST IT WAS HIGHSHOOL AND HOME, AFTER I GRADUATED, IT WAS WORK AND HOME. HE TOLD ME THAT I COULD ONLY GO OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS TO MOVIES, DINNER, MALLS. BUT NOT NIGHTCLUBS/BARS. I HAD ALWAYS KNOWN THAT HE GOES OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS AND COUSINGS TO CLUBS AND HAS ALWAYS DONE WHAT EVER HE DOES. HE HAD LIED TO ME SEVERAL TIMES, I DONT TRUST HIM BUT SOMEHOW I CAN'T LEAVE HIM. WE DONT HAVE KIDS OR ANYTHING THAT WILL MAINTAIN US TOGETHER. NOW HE IS 28 AND I AM 25. MY LIFE HAS ALWAYS BEEN LIKE A WIFE TO HIM. I RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS AT A CLUB AND DANCE WITH GIRLS. HE GAVE ME THE ENGAGEMENT RING 3 YEARS AGO BUT HE HAD ACTED LIKE A SINGLE MAN. I HAVE A FEELING HE HAD CHEATED OR IS STILL CHEATING. I CALL HIM NON STOP AND TEXT HIM NON STOP, HE DOESNT ANSWER MY CALLS OR TEXTS SOMETIMES AND HE TELLS ME THAT I AM CRAZY AND THAT IF HE MARRYS ME HE WILL BE THE UNHAPPIEST MEN ON EARTH. HE SAID HIS PLANS IS TO GET MARRY WITH ME NEXT YEAR. BUT I FEEL LOST, CONFUSED, I FEEL LIKE JUST HAVING AN ACCIDENT AND BEEN IN COMMA SO HE CAN REALIZED HOW MUCH WORTH I AM AND EVERYTHING I HAD GIVEN HIM. I DONT KNOW, I FEEL LIKE I HATE HIM FOR TREATING ME BAD ALL THIS YEARS AND I HATE MYSELF FOR STILL BEEN IN THE RELATIONSHIP. I HAVENT SPOKEN TO ANY GUYS BUT HIM. HAD RESPECTED HIM IN EVERY SINGLE WAY BUT HE DOESNT  RESPECT ME OR PROVE HE CARES OR LOVES ME. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE HELP SOMEONE HELP. AM I REALLY CRAZY? IS HE RIGHT AND I AM WRONG? I QUESTION HIM ALOT AND HE GETS MAD AND HE ARGUES CAUSE OF THAT. HE DOESNT LET ME SEE HIS CELL PHONE. HE SAIDS I AM CRAZY CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING about HIM. AM I WRONG? IS ME THE PROBLEM? PLEASE HELP.

Karime
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/19/2010 6:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I want to thank you for taking the time to read it. I know i wrote alot.
Thank you very much for your advice, i honestly didnt think i was going to get a response right away. Honestly i though i was me the problem and me the crazy one. It is hard because is been like almost my whole life that i had given to this person. I am just afraid to breakup and regret it later on.

Karime
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/19/2010 6:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Any more advices or suggestions.

wearyRAsufferer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2510
   Posted 9/19/2010 7:31 PM (GMT -6)   
There's more for you out there. Please get out of this relationship while there is still no financial trappings like money for divorce or children which really make it hard to leave.
Please. You deserve better. It will be hard and it will be sad but believe me you will get over it.

I wish I had done it when I was a little less than your age. By your age I was already married and had 1 child of three.

Its been a very miserable 32 years.

Please do yourself a favor.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 9/19/2010 8:36 PM (GMT -6)   
In order to have a successful relationship, you have to trust eachother. Until you both can do that there will be unrest. If you are going to leave, do it before you get further involved. It will be a lot more complicated farther down the road.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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