Hello. I'm new and would like to introduce myself.

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Sasta Anois
Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 9/23/2010 3:13 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi All,

As suggested in the guidelines, I thought I’d introduce myself.  I’m a person with chronic depression, anxiety disorder and PTSD. Finding it difficult to explain what goes on in my head during ‘episodes’ I explained it as a mind, in other times capable and curious, filled with white noise and razor blades.  I think William Styron said it best though, ““Depression” is indeed way to wimpy a term for this soul-crushing disease: how about something like “malignant mood deformation”?”  So I’ve adopted the word madness for the life threatening condition I must learn to manage.  I’m currently on medications and in therapy. I am getting better but still have a long way to go.  Though my amazing&supportive family knows all too well how my condition has worsened and improved over the years, most people in my life have no idea that I have mental health issues.  I have a good job and generally well liked.  When I am myself, not the mad version of me, I am creative, kind, out going, determined, and adventurous. When I am less myself, I become terrified, paralyzed, uninterested in my art, sex, food, anything. I also withdraw, to the point of agoraphobia.  I am working to be educated, confident and stable enough to come out of  (what I call) the “padded closet.”  I am guilty of thinking that even I should “get over it” or “pull myself up by my own boot straps.”   It was not until I was at my lowest that I realized I was ill; that if anyone could’ve gotten off that couch by force of their own will alone, it would’ve been me and that if I didn’t get help whatever was wrong with me would end me.  Luckily my family is an amazing group of people who love me and were there for me when I finally had the courage to reach out. While in the hospital, I was so comforted to hear that other people felt much like I did.  It was funny that we all said in one way or another “I’m sorry you are sick but I’m so glad it isn’t just me.” I’m doing better but it’s still such a struggle.  While I do not expect to have my problems solved, or solve anyone else’s, I hope to find and give when I can insight and support here.


Sasta Anois

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42204
   Posted 9/23/2010 3:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Sasta Anois,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am so glad that you have joined us.

It sounds like you have a pretty good support system, and that is good. Many of us have struggled without one. And it is very difficult. Especially if family members and friends don't believe in or understand depression. So you really got a lot going for you right there. Consider yourself fortunate.

Depression in itself is such a struggle. And I know about that feeling that you are glad that you aren't alone. I know, I feel that way too. I am happy to know that people here understand me. It is like a door has opened and all these people come flooding out saying "you aren't the only one".

I hope that you feel better as time goes on. We are all a work in progress here. Join the croud.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 9/24/2010 6:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for joining. We all support each other. Sounds like you have been through a lot - me too. We understand things here that no one else can.
DX fibromyalgia 2007, OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy, gallbladder surgery.
meds - fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20113
   Posted 9/24/2010 6:34 AM (GMT -6)   
ditto, welcome from me too. jamie.
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