I was happily married for years and miss that feeling very much. I have been married for 16 years, next Friday, which includes all of my adult life. After finding him in bed with my best friend late 2007, I left him. We went back and forth a bit. I thought he was sincere but found out he'd never stopped seeing her. We were then separated for all of 2009, my ...let's call him Ex...Ex and I were civil, even friendly at times. We spent our anniversary and Christmas together. All the while he begged to remain in my life, professed his love for only me but felt he was not good enough for me and wanted different things. Then in spring 2010 he came to me and was very ill. I took him in (not back) and tried to help him. I set the boundary that my family and I would not be in his life if he chose to have "her" in it. After months of caring for him, I found out he was indeed seeing her after only a few weeks of keeping his word. This is more detail than I'd planned to include....I am struggling. Please note that I do not want him back and have stuck by my word. He made his choice.
Now as I wait on a court date to get my name back, what would have been my 16th anniversary is next week. I'm so angry and hurt and filled with grief for the life I worked so hard to build that was so thoughtlessly destroyed. I am confident that time will heal these wounds but right now, they are still very fresh.
My therapist has instructed me to come up with a new tradition for that day. I've tried looking at it from the outside, ie. pretending it was someone else who needed a suggestion for a new tradtion. I'm still coming up blank. "Fly to Paris" of course sounds great but as the one left with the mortgage, the dogs, all the bills of a life set up for 2 now on 1 paycheck, that's not an option...this year. :)
Any suggestions on how I might reclaim Oct 1st?
Sometimes a day is too much to take at one time so instead of telling myself "Have a great day!", I say "When you can dahlin, have a happy now." I wish us all more happy nows.