I am happy that you are finding the forum helpful. It really is a wonderful place to come and share. Just keep telling yourself you did what you felt was the right thing to do in the circumstances that you were under. It may take a while to forgive yourself. I hope that it doesn't take that long. Remember you are a good person. It is so important for you to forgive yourself and love yourself. Then you can move on.
The reason that the couseling didn't go all that well is probably because it wasn't the right time. But know there might be a time when you need to deal with the past. Then again you might not need to. But if you do, your mind will let you know if you are ready.
And remember, things will get better. As long as you are trying, they are going to get better. It may take a little time, but it will happen. I am a firm believer of that.
Take care, keep posting.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies