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Intern
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted Today 10:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello.

I won't give out my name, but I certainly hope that this is the place to vent and find solutions. I've run out of options. I'm not sure if this is the right place.

I'll just tell you the short version:

My spring semester of this year was a very stressful one, and then my father passed away in May. I'm already severely financially inept (if that's the right word), and I was unable to find a job during the summer. I was offered an internship, which my dad wanted me to go to. I told him the week before he died that I was considering it. Then I was pressured and manipulated by my (paternal) sister and others to go on ahead with this program because that was what my dad wanted me to do. Meanwhile, my mother and my sister are tugging me back and forth simply by the fact that they do not like each other, and I'm powerless to think for myself.

The program is worse than I ever imagined it to be. I personally don't care if it's a great opportunity for me, the area of interest in the program is not something that I know about. Plus the apartments we lived in are full of so many flaws. The only time I have to relax is on late evenings, and that's pretty much null and void because of the roommates that I have to live with. They and their friends make it so much harder for me, and because they were having a loud party lat night, I asked my mother to take me back home for the weekend. They're not very sympathetic and they keep asking me about my private life.

I'm also having friendship issues. Last year, one person screwed me over in so many ways. This year another person did, and I've become this bitter person who will just rant and rant and bring the third person down to the point where we had a fight last night and now I'm not sure we're friends anymore.

I don't know if you can help, but I just need to vent without being judged.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 9/25/2010 10:17:37 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted Today 11:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Intern,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am glad that you have joined us. It sounds like you are getting tugged in all kinds of directions. Do what is right for you. Do what you find you enjoy. Are you talking to anybody now, such as a counselor? I think that would do you a world of good. Give you some direction in life. It sounds like you could use that.

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. I am sorry about all of the partying going on. You don't need that right now when you are trying to get things together. I am glad that you have somewhere to go on weekends.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 9/27/2010 4:58 AM (GMT -6)   
take some time for you. some relective time. i walk at night, soothes the mind. take care of you. be you, stay true ok. with compassion, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

wearyRAsufferer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2510
   Posted 9/27/2010 9:08 PM (GMT -6)   
so sorry you are being pulled in so many directions when you are in the middle of grief so you can't even think straight. I'm putting you in my prayers tonight for help with direction. I wish you all the best.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/28/2010 3:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Friends come, and friends go. Even friends that you have had for life, can turn around and screw you. Can you ask yourself, am I a doormat? Do I get used till I've nothing more to give, and then am cast aside? Do I let my friend get away with slights, insults or inuendos not wanting to rock the boat, only to blow my top at the end anyway? What was so great about this friend that I continued to take their crap?
I ask because these are things that I have done. Last Christmas I located the addresses of friends that I had lost contact with over the years. I was so thrilled to hear back from them and started emailing frequently. Didn't even last a year. Discovered how selfish they were, how unable to be supportive, but demand undying loyalty. Remembered why I didn't keep in contact. Not the loss I thought it was.
Be happy. Evaluate this internship and see whether you can weather it out. How long does it go for? Would hate having roommates like that. Spending the weekends somewhere else may enable you to finish the program. Or maybe chucking it would be better. What will you do next? Can you get away from the squabblers in the family who are tearing you apart?
What would your father advise you if he knew what the internship was really like?
Sorry this has all come down on you when you are still grieving. Be objective. Good luck
Sandy
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