New And I Need Advice! :/ PLEASE

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/25/2010 11:24 AM (GMT -6)   
I've been feeling so down over the last year but im finding it hard to talk to anyone i know let alone a doctor!
I think it started when i found out i was pregnant and my boyfriend at the time just up and left, i knew i wanted an abortion but to go through that without anyone killed me! I know it was over a year ago but i cant help but think what i have done was soooo wrong to kill someone who hasnt has a chance to live! How did i do it!?
And in the past year after all that happened its just getting worse.. I cant have a day where i dont look at myself and feel discusted at what i did or who i am! Im always arguing with my family, i lost all my friends when i left school and because i work at CRAPPY job full time i have no time for myself or others which makes people not want to be around me. My anger is out of order i dont know how i havent seriously hurt anyone yet but i know if i dont stop i will. Ive recently come off the injection which made me gain like 2stone in weight so now im fat, angry, lonely, down, drained, scared at what is wrong with me! It may not make sense to me but i need to know what people think is wrong or if someone can relate to me and just help me out

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 9/25/2010 11:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Ivyrose91,

I am so sorry for your loss. In time you will get over this. I know that it is hard right now, but be patient with youself and try to not be so hard on yourself. We all make decisions that we wish we could change, but we can't, so we have to move on.

Be glad that you have a job at all. It is hard to find a job right now, as if you read some of the posts, you will see that. So try to like your job until you can find something better.

Don't lose faith in people, you will make new friends, this just takes time. and if you have one or two good ones in your life, consider yourself lucky. It is hard to find a true friend.

I hope that you feel better soon. Take care, and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 9/25/2010 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   
There is nothing wrong with you. You feel regret about an abortion. that's normal. You need to talk to a counselor, try to make time for that. I know you said you have a full time job, but you need to set aside some time. There are a lot of women out there that feel the same as you. You need to get past it though, whats done is done. You will find time for freinds once you stop being so down on yourself, because you can always make time for yourself. Always put yourself first.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 9/27/2010 5:03 AM (GMT -6)   
yes you are no 1. and yes take some time-out for yourself. you will heal, keep reaching out. we are here for support. with healing prayers, jamie.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/27/2010 10:03 AM (GMT -6)   
You have made a choice and did the best you could with what you had and knew at the time. That is now the past. You deserve a happy, healthy life. Punishing yourself does not change the past and robs you of a bright future. It is really important to forgive yourself now. All that pent up emotion and guilt needs to be released. Seek out the help of a local professional to enable you to do this.
I wish you peace,

Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/30/2010 3:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, I had horrible, seemingly unending regrets when I had an abortion too. Funny it hits you when you have already up and done it and can't undo it. That lasted for a long year. Don't dwell on it. No brooding. If you start to, say NO, STOP. You can control your thinking.
It will pass. Stop hating yourself. I have gotten to the point that if I happen to think of it, I can say to myself, Yes, that was a drastic and emotional decision. Regrettable. Wish it hadn't happened. Wish I had talked to someone who was objective, who, I don't know. Willl never do that again. (and then take a deep breath and STOP thinking about it, there is nothing WRONG with you)
Since you are working, you will have something else to think about, good. Just because you work 40 hrs, you lucky girl, doesn't mean you can't socialize with your friends. And you have money, go out to eat, to a movie, go walking and exercise.
You do need to see a doctor about your anger. Just because you're mad at yourself doesn't mean you can take it out on others.
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