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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/27/2010 3:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I lost physical custody of my children 2 years ago.  My two youngest (now 14 & 17) decided they wanted to live with dad (b/c its fun).  I have battling his then girlfriend and now his wife (someone new).  I am at my wits end.   I received a message from the wife, indicating that she and my ex are not allowing the children to speak or have contact with me.  This is because I let my 14 yr old (girl) go to a b-day party for a friend, she also happens to like the friends brother (same age), my daughter and 5 other children spent the night, and I even spoke to the parents to be sure they were going to be there.  I picked her up at 9am the next morning (all children were sleeping in the living room).  The step-mother decided that I make bad decisions and but my daughter in harms way, that is her basis for not allowing me to not see my children.  The father agrees with her.  This has been going on since Aug.  My daughter wanted the # for the law guardian, because they wont let her and I see or speak, so I gave it to her and they took her cell phone away from her.
Any messages I send my son they read and respond, whether it be email/facebook/cell phone.
I found out last week that my mother decided to send my son a message (via facebook) that she disowns him and his sister.  That is why my son wont speak to me, I'm being punished for what she did.
So on Friday of this past week, I cried all the way home.  At one point I thought of taking myself to the hospital, or stopping at the drs to get meds.  But since the ex always seems to find out what I do and uses it against me in court I decided against it. 
I miss my kids terribly and it kills me to drive by their house and not be able to stop and see them or speak with them.  My ex told me if I stopped he would have me arrested for trespassing. 
My living situation is with my boyfriend (of 7 years), his two boys and his ill mother. My boyfriend tries to be supportive but he gets infuriated by the way my kids have been and are treating me.  Because I dont deserve this.
I am miserable, I have lost motivation and I just dont care about anything anymore. 
I don't know what to do anymore, or how to handle this. 

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/27/2010 4:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum.  In your custody agreement set out by the courts what was the decision re your children and visitation rights? 
I understand how hard this situation is for everyone and especially the children.  My son is in the middle of a very similiar situation with 3 children involved.  It breaks my heart to see families torn apart. 
You are not responsibile for your Mother's behavior and blaming you is unfair but just about everything is this situation is bound to feel unfair to someone.  I am truly here to support you.
Again a warm welcome.
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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/27/2010 5:09 PM (GMT -6)   
The court order is for visitation when the kids want and when they want.  This was recently modified because of the ex co-horsing the kids into lying.  At the time the law guardian even said she didnt think it was a good idea but because the kids are of age and its what they want she has to do what the kids want.  Before that it was twice a week during the week and every other weekend.  I had to call the police on him then for not allowing me to take the children, and when we went back to court that issue was not even addressed nor did the judge want to hear anything about it. 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 9/28/2010 8:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Can you set up a family mediation Scorpio? An unbiased middle person, between you and the kids. Something tells me the kids only know one side of the story, I think it would be fair that they knew your side as well.
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