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Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/30/2010 3:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Are you at a loss for words?
Don't have a clue as to what would help this poor soul?
Don't want to get involved?
Overwhelmed with your own problems?
Looking for ideas for yourself?
Can't type?

I would have put up a poll, but have found that there isn't a great response there either.

Everyone has something to say. We're all dealing with the same can of worms. You must have a take on the problem. You must have problems you could share.
Nobody will hold you to it if your advice doesn't help.
You can take advice or leave it. Who will know? Maybe you'll get a good idea. Worth a shot

Please join in and POST, we would love to hear from you.

SmurfyShadow
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 9/30/2010 3:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey! I like to lurk in the shadows LOL. I personally read and dont post because I know someone else will voice my thoughts. I'll post after I give a few days of the post to get some responses and if they havent had the response if I know the answer, or when I get strange messages like this. Sometimes I'll even post a reply to something I know. Very rarely you will actually see me start a topic. Kitt knows me, I've been around for awhile and she knows how I tend to hide in the corner then pipe up every once in awhile.
Don't Care Bout Nuffin No More, Guess I shouldnt even be in this world

myjoy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 686
   Posted 9/30/2010 4:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Some days I lurk - some days I post. :)
DX fibromyalgia 2007, OCD, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, hysterectomy, gallbladder surgery.
meds - fluoxetine (prozac), abilify, trazodone, lorazepam, nabumetone, hydrocodone, c-pap machine.
A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 9/30/2010 4:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes I feel like what I say is only suppling a bandaid, and won't make any difference.

Sometimes, I only post if no-one has said what I would say.

Sometimes, I only post because no-one has yet, and the person is waiting.

Sometimes, I don't have the emotional energy to explain something in depth.

Sometimes, I am just introverted.

Sometimes, in order to say what needs to be said, I have to give up some off me, and I really don't do that easily as I then feel vunlerable.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/30/2010 7:01 AM (GMT -6)   

 
Good morning  :) HealingWell is open to the public so anyone can access the site and read without joining as a member.  Others join to read and they may post from time to time but they take away from the site whatever they need that can help them through the good and the bad times.
 
Then we have are active members that post nearly daily.
 
It is each members personal choice on how they want to participate as a member.
 
I understand what your saying but just know that you are helping more people than you know by your contributions so keep on posting.
 
Kindly,
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 9/30/2010 8:32 AM (GMT -6)   
sorry, been ultra busy. and ultra unwell. jamie.

i try real hard. i do struggle with lengthy posts as well. but i try. having trouble with memory, focus and pain. being tested for fibro. house insp also this morn. did 8 hrs of mowing over 2 days. i can barely walk let alone type. apologies. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/30/2010 11:21 AM (GMT -6)   
OK, now I understand better. Thanks everyone

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/30/2010 5:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Your very welcome. 
 
Smiles,
 
Kitt

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/1/2010 7:36 AM (GMT -6)   
:-) :-) :-) jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/2/2010 2:34 AM (GMT -6)   
PS. TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. I DO A LOT OF STUFF OFF-LINE WITH MEMBERS AS WELL.

CHEERS, JAMIE.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/2/2010 3:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jamie, you still up? Thought I was the only one. I'm in California. Are we on the same time zone? Not familiar with the time zones in Australia. You are the first person I have ever posted with from Australia. Sometimes I want to say, hey, where is everyone from? Don't know why I want to know that really. Just curious.

What do you mean you work with people offline? I don't know about that.
I have encountered some young folk on the Depression forum the past week who are so sad and needy. Sometimes I am afraid I am in over my head. I want to encourage them, and spare them from further suffering in their young lives. I got scared this week, you may have noticed. It turned out OK as far as I can tell. They think there is no future for them because they are so tormented, or defective. How do you handle this?

I greatly admire you, Sir.
Best wishes, I mean CHEERS !
Sandy

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/2/2010 3:40 AM (GMT -6)   
well i catch up and offer my help to some members. and i have made some good
mates along the way as well. jamie. cheers.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/2/2010 4:18 AM (GMT -6)   
A VERY BIG TICK TO THAT SIOBHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JAMIE.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/2/2010 4:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jamie, still don't know what you mean about helping people offline. Like on the phone or in person? Sorry if I'm being slow to catch on to your meaning. Sandy

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/2/2010 5:02 AM (GMT -6)   
JUST VIA E-MAIL. IF WE WANT TO CONTINUE TALKING OUTSIDE OF HW.

CHEERS, JAMIE.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/3/2010 3:09 AM (GMT -6)   
T2U - It can be really hard when you take on others issues. The trick is, to help them on the site, and as you shut the computer down, let it go. It is worring when someone is in crisis, and they take a few days to get back and post. If you are worried and waiting for a reply, that can become unhealthy for you.

I always 'detacth', when I shut the computer down, this I have adopted in life, at work, with friends that need support from me. I deal with it at the time, then sort of let it go.

I have to do it this way, as life is hard enough as it is without carrying all the hurts of the world around with me too.

I work in social work, (10yrs), and before that, dementia and terminal care, (10yrs). I say goodbye to each kid, and each patient, and if I didn't seperate myself, I would be a mess, and not be able to carry on with my job.

Hope that makes sense, and answers what you are asking.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/3/2010 3:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, Awty. That was the advice I need to hear tonight. I understand what you're saying about letting go. I actually came to the forum to listen to what other people have found helpful and successful. And started this topic since I felt people were holding out, ha ha. Then quickly became so over invested in the young ones plights, especially things that I think are so obvious I must tell them, and it has snowballed into a full time endeavor. More accurately an all night thing. Just now I copied the Desiderata off the web, you may be familiar with that, intending to post it onto a new thread on the depression forum. And leave it at that. Noticed your msg. Such a comforting thing the Desiderata, in the 70's it was a song on the radio, and posters were sold everywhere. Probably not within forum rules. Probably I need to back off my crusade. And take care of myself. Its drivin me nutz, if you know what I mean. Thanks so much dear. Don't know how you have done it all those years. But keep up the good work.
Sandy

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/3/2010 3:42 AM (GMT -6)   
I'll tell ya a secret Sandy, all my life I have been able to dissociate - that's how I do it.

It isn't a bad thing to to say what you think needs to be said, I think I had the same thought about it as you did. If someone is not in a place to listen, that's ok, that's part of thier learning.

I walk away when I feel I have said what I need to, and have hopefully given them something to think about, and hopefully have empowered them. It comes down to ONLY being able to change ourself, no-one else. But if someone is willing to work alongside me, then I stay put, till it has run it's course, and they have what they need out of it.

I applaud you for trying, that is a couragous thing to do.

ONLY be YOU, it's good enough Sandy.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/3/2010 4:08 AM (GMT -6)   
SANDY, I MUST BE THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN. ALBEIT I DO SHUT-DOWN PERIODICALLY. IF SOMEONE IS IN NEED THEN I HELP....SOMETIMES I CAN NOT.
(HELP) THIS IS DEPENDANT ON THE SITUATION OFCOURSE. IF I CAN AIDE IN
LESSENING THE SUFFERING I WILL. CHEERS. PS, YOU MAKE VERY VALID POINTS.
REGARDS, JAMIE.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/3/2010 5:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Awty and Jaimee.
You are helping me feel better.
Now I need to look up dissociate and get a better understanding.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/3/2010 8:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Great open discussion by all. 

IMHO joining a support group is joining a family and depending on just one person in the family is not always healthy and may defeat the purpose of being a member of a group.

With many gentle hugs,

Kitt


~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 10/3/2010 7:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sandy,
It is hard to say what makes one want to answer a post or just read them. I have posted many times and there are times when I felt desperate for answers and got few and other times when I got many replies. Dont' give up on answering or posting. It seems there is always someone here to give help. Sometimes I think it can be an age
issue. There are people here of all ages and sometimes we just can't help what to reply to as we are in different situations. I find being older that I don't hear from too may people except the ones who I have talked to many times in the past. I think you just need to keep  posting and you will find the help you need. Sometimes it takes explaining a problem more in depth to get the advice you are looking for. I am always glad to help out.  Take care.
 
Aurora

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/3/2010 7:22 PM (GMT -6)   
ME TOO!!!! JAMIE. WELL PUT AURORA. SOMETIMES IT IS HARD. I HAVE 3 PAPERS AND A HOUSE TOO PAINT, LOOKING AFTER A MATE WHO BECAME HOMELESS, THERAPY SESSIONS, MY DOG, FRIENDS AND TRYING TO KEEP IN CONTACT WITH MY FAMILY.
A LOT OF MEDICAL, DR.S AND STUFF, DIABETES AND VOLUNTARY STUFF COMING UP.
BUT I TRY TO ANSWER AS MANY POSTS POSSIBLE. JAMIE.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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