I have been in your place more then once and it took me many years to realize even if I love someone I sometimes had to let them go. I was crushed and I did some of the same things you did only to be put down and told off. In the end I just felt humilated and my self esteem fell a long ways.......I questioned what was wrong with me that this person loved me one day and not the next. I looked for the flaws in me instead of him. In reality he was the person that was not truthful or caring and he walked away so was it truly love for him ? And yes I gave him money to help him out so we could be together - I was so sure at the time it was the right thing to do.
There are so many times in life when you have to let go of someone you love, but that doesn't mean letting go of love.
Relationships are complicated some times and may cause you pain, but don't give up. I've been told more than once "You don't know what it's like to be hurt so deep." I have been cheated on, walked on, rejected by some, and assaulted by others. I know what it's like be "hurt so deep". If I had let go of love I would never have found the one I married for time and all eternity.
I do know where your coming from and I am here to support you. You are a kind and caring young woman who is going through a tough time. Please take care of you and keep on talking with us.
I wish you peace and happiness.
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