Oh, Precious, you brought tears to my eyes. What a difficult adolescence you have had. Despite the way everyone looks happy at school, many suffer and cry at home in their rooms, and they haven't been thru the difficulties that you have. Your load is immense.
So, so sorry about
your brother, what a terrible loss, terrible shock He probably wishes he had hugged you too. And your parents, wow, we think our parents are rock solid citizens. We're all human and make mistakes that hurt those we love. Its awful when there is silent, cold treatment going on. Everybody feels it unfortunately. It hurts.
Sure you're jealous of other families. But my friend 's parents who I think are the greatest, go to church, out to brunch, sporting events, laugh ALL the time, well they went thru the same thing. Not only did Dad cheat, he did it with a teacher at the HS. Everybody knew. He and his lady friend, were the laughing stock of the whole school. It happened on a school trip to Paris ! My friend was mortified and wanted to kill him. Mom was devastated, recovered, got a job, got a Jetta ? , got her naval pierced and a tattoo. Believe it or not, after a separation, they got back together and didn't divorce. Things are fine again, but it took time for the parents to heal. The kids shook their heads and said whatever, and life went on.
So, these are very painful issues. Perhaps you need some bereavement help to deal with the loss of your brother. You're feeling like nothing matters, thats depression, and it was before these traumatic events and the weed. You need help with it, its situational probably. You can recover.
Tell your mom that you are just so depressed you can't take it anymore. Your family doctor can prescribe an antidepressant, and at the same time make sure your body is healthy. Then refer you to an appropriate therapist, who specializes in Adolescents. You can pour your little heart out, and later work on steps to resolve these issues and put them to rest so you can go on with your life. Insurance covers this stuff.
Please take what I have said to heart. You have so much life ahead of you to experience. You can literally do anything you want, school, career, no school, job till you figure it out, dating, love, marriage, children. Don't deny yourself these pleasures.
Continue to post. I will be thinking of you...Sandy
PS, have you seen the first posts of some of the others on the forum? Young like you they suffer from feelings of low self esteem, anxiety, depression, confusion. This is a place to come and be understood Everyone is caring here. Be encouraged
<Edit> per Rule 1. Sorry as I know you were trying to help. Any questions please email me. Thank you, Kitt
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/2/2010 8:45:41 AM (GMT-6)