Easing the pain?

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cocobeans
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/2/2010 10:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I don`t really know how to help myself. I`ve never been in this situation this severe. I et me start fromthe beginning. There is this guy that I`m sure I`m in love with. He told me he loved me December of 2009. Of course I was reluctant to believe him. After a while I believed him and soon fell in love with him. Just recently I moved up north from Georgia. He told me several days ago that he doesn`t love me anymore. That our cirsumstances won`t allow it. It hurt so badly to hear that. I went from the love of his life to a friend over night with out me even knowing what was happening. I`ve lost my appetite, I can`t have spare time or I`ll just break down crying. I`ve cried myself to sleep. I don`t know how to ease the pain. What can I do? I won`t be seeing him again for another 5, 6 or so months. Please help. I`m only a teenager and I shouldn`t even be feeling this depressed. Give me advice as to what I can do to help myself get over him. thanks to all who took the time to read this and for those who reply to help me through this tough time. thank you

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/3/2010 3:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Coco-
A low blow indeed. You're right to think that a teenager shouldn't be feeling this depressed, fact is you do. Perhaps tomorrow you can get out and see friends. Go to a movie. Exercise, even a long walk around the mall. Stop for a cool drink and relax by the fountains.

Some people are not very sincere, and sometimes just change their minds, as in this isn't working. Its not a reflection on you. Some guys say I love you without thinking. It all hurts. You are young and resilient. Try not to brood about it, distract yourself.

You have a wonderful life ahead of you, with much joy ahead.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/3/2010 3:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Coco, only the passage of time will shift what you are feeling at the moment.

Can you spend lots of time with friends, and in good company, this will also help you forget what is in the past, if you remain present with other people.

Really sounds like he isn't worth you, take some time out for yourself, and the right person is out there for you, all in good time.

I hope the hurt shifts soon for you.

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/3/2010 10:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Coco,
 
Welcome to HealingWell and I am so sorry you are feeling so sad and hurt.  I have been in your shoes a long time ago but I can remember like it was yesterday how upset I felt.
 
It can be so very, very hard to see the end of a relationship that provided you with so many special memories and moments in your life. Memories of your teen years  that you will look back on many years later through the eyes of an adult and realize just how special a time it was, even though it never lasted forever as young hearts often hope.
 
There is a process to breaking up with someone you really cared about. Often it begins with anger and a feeling of inadequacy because you feel that it's all your fault and you did something wrong to cause the end of the relationship. Many times, that's not the case at all and in your case you did not do anything wrong. 
 
After the anger and self-blame subside, you will be very sad. You may even not want to eat and possibly have trouble sleeping. You find yourself crying a lot.
 
These are quite natural feelings and not a bad thing. It's part of the grieving process and they are your feelings and you have every right to have them and express them. It will help you overcome the hurt and pain if you are able to let your sorrow out and not keep it bottled up inside.
 
It's not necessary to deal with a break-up all by yourself. That's what your friends are for. Talk to them about your feelings.  Coming here and talking with us was brave of you and know we do understand how you feel. 
 
I always remember a song by Incubus :  Love Hurts. 
 
I wish you peace and happiness but most of all I wish you love,
 
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

cocobeans
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/4/2010 12:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart, thank you. This means so much to me. Where I`m living right now, I only have my family. I don`t have any friends up here to where I can speak face to face. I`m starting school sometime this week and that will take my mind off of what he did. He had called me earlier today and that just brought up all that happened before when I had just recently pushed that to the back of my mind. At least school will give me something to do and busy my life for the next 5 or so months. Thank you all for helping.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 10/4/2010 4:38 AM (GMT -6)   
a wonderful world of experiences await you. yes, keep busy. jamie, 38. what kitt wrote happened to me. i know the pain. take care, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/4/2010 10:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Glad to hear you are experiencing what I do here in the forums. 

I have found the support, validation and encouragement that I receive here, to be so helpful and healing and the members warm and caring.  Coming here and connecting to others who know all about depression and just knowing there are many people out there with the same issues that I have helps me feel less alone.

Blessings,

Kitt


~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"
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