NCOT..every post I've ever read from you has sounded woefully depressed. Are you currently getting medical management for your depression? You may find that it helps a lot.
As for the family who grated on your nerves and your quest for solitude:
1. Apply and qualify for disability (severe depression and crohn's)
2. Move out
3. Try to find a passion or something to make you happy, or at the very least, fill the time
4. You may find much personal satisfaction in volunteering, and you will prove to yourself you are not a failure.
5. Nobodys' good at everything, but it's how you look at it that counts. Take it in stride, put it in perspective. You are not a bad person. You've never killed anyone. You have x, y and z good qualities (fill in the blank). You deserve happiness.
for me? sure I can focus on the fact that I'm a dreg to society, I suck at sports, tone deaf, dropped out of university,no co-ordination, too anxious, not normal bc I have CD, not normal bc I have a colostomy, overweight, opinionated, etc etc etc. So what? It is what it is. Nobody's perfect, and I rock in my own way, WE ALL DO!
I am great at logic puzzles, am an awesome mother, and very good at spelling. I also have a high IQ.
NOW, let's hear 3 things about
you (at least 3) that show us YOU ROCK TOO!
33 years old, dx with Crohn's in 1998. Currently on :
Clofazimine 100mg daily,
Rifampin 600mg daily, and Clarithromycin 2 tabs daily
and Cipralex 10mg/day for anxiety.
Hydroxyzine, percocet, Ativan as needed.
5g pharmaceutical grade Omega 3's, 1000IU's Vitamin D3 daily
2 Perianal fistulas, and 1 more suspected. Crohn's only at end of colon, cecum. Remi, Asacol, Salofalk, Imuran, Humira did nada. Built immunity to long-term Cipro use, which also induced panic attacks.