I'm starting to go insane...

Please, I need help?
1
anger control - 50.0%
1
depression - 50.0%

 
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shelbz91
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/6/2010 12:37 AM (GMT -6)   
I've had plenty of bad things in my life happen, of course not as bad as some have gone through, but enough to harm the happy person I once was.
Loss of brother, Dad, family, friends, being disowned. I have an amazing boyfriend, who does a lot for me, has always been there, but recently he told me he is unhappy with how I am acting, I'm greedy, rude, selfish, all about me, clingy, always sad, blame him for anything even when he did not do it. I do not know I'm taking advantage of him until he gives me a news flash of saying how he's going to leave....he loves me and does not want to go, as do I. I think he's the only thing keeping me alive, we both want to get married, but all I see is negative. I cannot picture forever or positives in anything. I just want to be happy, but literally my depression is making me insane, I do not want to be a angry person, and no matter what he says helps. I cannot keep living like this, I hate it, if not as much as he does, more so. I just want to be happy, see positive things, but it's hard from what I've gone through to feel the positive things in life. Hope, smiles, etc. are all an act I put on just to try to convince myself to be happy, I do not want to fight with him, he truthfully means the world to me, it scares me how much I feel for him, partially why I doubt everything until he's ready to flee. I just do not know what to do, I want him happy as well as myself, and of course nobody is amazingly happy all the time, but I at least want this anger, selfishness and demanding/controlling self to go away and bring back my smiley, happy, normal self, the girl I once was, and wish to become again.
Please help, I do not have the money for counseling and do not know what to do...thanks.

-signed broken.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/6/2010 3:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Shelbz, so sorry that you feel broken tonight. If you tell us how old you are, do you go to school etc. we may be able to suggest a way to find some counselling.

You said "all I see is negative. I cannot picture forever or positives in anything. I just want to be happy I do not want to be a angry person, I cannot keep living like this, I hate I just want to be happy, see positive things, but it's hard from what I've gone through to feel the positive things in life. Hope, smiles, etc. are all an act I put on just to try to convince myself to be happy"

From this I think that you need to learn some ways to correct your self-talk.
I located this book for myself on Amazon. Its $3.99 with free 2 day shipping. Copied some info from it to show you. Have passed this on to others too. Its an easy read.

What to Say When you Talk To Yourself, Dr. Shad Helmstetter


I'm familiar with this book and highly recommend this to you. Maybe they have it at the library.

Sandy
 
Sorry for the edit.  9. No posts of copyrighted material.  Information copyrighted or owned by any individual or entity other than the person posting should not be posted on the message boards without the consent of the owner.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/6/2010 8:41:42 AM (GMT-6)


Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/6/2010 3:42 AM (GMT -6)   
I saw your poll, voted, but think you are probably both, angry at the past, angry at yourself, and depressed about the future. This is something that I like from long ago. I used to find it very comforting when I was young like you. I like to pass it along.

From me:
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

To you:
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

I don't want to minimize the fact that you are hurting by saying, just be cheerful.
But hope you can find some comfort in the poem. Maybe you could print it out and keep it to re-read.

Sandy

Post Edited (Trying to Understand) : 10/6/2010 3:58:07 AM (GMT-6)


Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/6/2010 3:48 AM (GMT -6)   
By joining the forum you will get a chance to have understanding, friendship, support and a place to vent. We all have been there, and occasionally fall back into it, and need the forum again for help. You are welcome here.

Please understand that we are trying to be helpful, and help you over the rough spots that we ourselves have also experienced. Take as much advice as you like, leave the rest. We have your best interests in mind, and would never intentionally hurt your feelings. Remember that we are not doctors or therapists. What we say comes from the heart.

If you haven't, read some of the other posts. There are other young women in a similar state of mind as you. You're not alone.

Sandy

Post Edited (Trying to Understand) : 10/6/2010 3:57:16 AM (GMT-6)

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