All things pass............even the bad ones.
I am 52 and feel better, look better than I ever have. I work hard at it but it pays off. I also used to be a negative thinker, it is a bad habit, a habit that you can change. You have to want to. The nice thing about getting older, I am not afraid anymore. I am not afraid of failure, the only people who never fail are the ones that never try to do anything, I am not afraid that people will not like me - I don't care anymore, I am not afraid of dying because I am too busy living. when you stop being afriad of whatever it is the scares you, life gets so much better.
Clean up your diet, your attitude, your lifestyle, toss out people in your life who offer nothing positive.......If your life feels bad and nothing is working - then work to change what or who is bugging you. It is your life and nothing worth having is ever easy you must do the work.
Been where you are, felt like you feel, all the compassion to you today, I hope it is a better day.