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CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 10/11/2010 6:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone.  As many of you know, I've been going through a rough patch (i.e. a saga) myself.  Last I had posted, I was past feeling sorry for myself and was actually angry about not being able to get a break from all my bad luck (i.e. no permanent job, house foreclosure process, bad depression and extremely bad panic attacks).  I actually think God heard my temper tantrum....and I have been bestowed with a few minor breaks.  First, I had been making my mortgage payments for the last few months under the modification program I got into.  However, as of September I had to stop...I couldn't make payments anymore because I need to pay my oil bill off before they will deliver oil again (and cold is coming).  For some reason, the bank took my 3-4 months of on-time payments and dropped the whole foreclosure process.  They closed up the case against me in court.  This was definately good news.  A little break as I'm calling it.  However, I could not pay in September and can't in October so I know things will start up again.  But now, they'll have to start the process from the beginning and it will buy me longer in my house.  Meanwhile, I am trying to work with the bank to avoid having to go through the foreclosure process a 2nd time around.  They informed my real estate agent and attorney about a HAFA program started by the Treasury Department.  Basically, if I get approved, they will tell me at what price they will allow me to shortsell my house for.  If I stay in the house during the allotted time they are giving me to sell it, they will pay $3,000.00 to me for moving expenses at the end.  (My house has already been on the market for a year now, so we'll see.)
 
Meanwhile they will not restart a foreclosure process as long as I'm paying a set/reduced amount each month to stay.  ...I am in the process of applying now.
I'm sharing this in case someone who is in a possible foreclosure process is reading this too.  It's a fairly new program.  If you call your mortgage lender you can ask for more details!!
 
I am still working as a temp. Substitute Teacher and/or instructional aide.  The staffing agency I am with requires that we work 90 days in a particular school before they can hire us without having to pay a fee to the staffing agency.  I now have less than 17 days left at one particular school I have spent much time in.  The Director and I have spoken and if there is any openings after this period she will keep me in mind.  (Not a guarantee but nevertheless she was interested too).
 
I am currently studying for my first certification test: Praxis I.  I intend to take it in mid-November when my prep. class is over.  Then I have 2 others left.  I cannot get a teaching position until this happens.  However, if I can get in the school system that I have been subbing for as an Instructional Assistant, then I have my foot in the door for when I am finally certified - for any teaching positions that may arise.
 
Last, I am feeling much better.  My depression and panic attacks have been subsiding a bit since my meds were upped a few weeks ago.  And I am so grateful for this!
 
Thank you to all my friends here that have been posting to me and/or calling me to make sure I'm okay.  I'm surviving at the moment.  Lots of hard work still left to be done, but im doing my best. 
 
If anyone is around this coming Friday night and would be available for a chat, please let me know.  It's been a long time since I've been on and I would love to catch up!
 
Cass
 

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20193
   Posted 10/11/2010 7:15 PM (GMT -6)   
WELL DONE CASS. SHOULDERS OUT, HEAD UP!!!!! WOW MATE, YOU KEEP ME INSPIRED AND MOTIVATED!!! KEEP AT IT. VERY, VERY PROUD OF YOU. CHEERS, JAMIE. :-)
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 10/11/2010 9:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks, Jamie.  Coming from you, my mentor, that certainly means a lot! yeah
 
Cass

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20193
   Posted 10/11/2010 10:15 PM (GMT -6)   
tongue   tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue
 
CASS........THX. YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME MUCH.
 
I ADMIRE YOUR GUTS IN MOVING FORWARD!!!! I TOO AM
MOVING FORWARD. THX FOR THE INSPIRATION.
 
-JAMIE. PS. YOU DO WORK ON HW. YOU ARE COMPASSIONATE AND CARING, AND USE SOUND WISDOM.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/12/2010 9:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Cass,
 
WOW !  You are amazing, Cass.  turn Life is full to difficult and complicated situations. Ups  and downs are all part of life but you have had more then your share of tough issues and even with your Depression you have kept on moving forward, fighting to stay afloat.  You are overwhelmingly tough in the face of adversity so be very proud of who you are.
 
When a tree faces a windstorm or a snowstorm, it has two options: fall over or withstand the force.  You continue to withstand the force with each new storm and sharing with the members here is an inspiration to all.
 
I will be keeping you in my prayers that a position opens up for you.  It is so good to read your depression has gotten better and keep on taking those babysteps my friend.  You may email me anytime.
 
Kindly,
 
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20193
   Posted 10/12/2010 5:33 PM (GMT -6)   
me as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 10/12/2010 8:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Cass

Glad to see you posting, and that things are turning up for you. I hope things continue well for you. Call me anytime! ((((hugs))))) to you my friend!

Becky

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20193
   Posted 10/12/2010 9:19 PM (GMT -6)   
hi becky, how are you doin'? keep well, cheers, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 10/13/2010 2:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks so much for your support; Kitt, Becky and Jamie.  It really means a lot to me.
 
Well today is another day and I'm still handling the depression well but I guess I spoke too early about the panic attacks going away.  I have so much on my To Do list and I am falling further and further behind.  I'm afraid I won't finish in time with my class to be ready for the Praxis exam in early November.  Between doing homework with my younger daughter, trying to get to loading a cord of wood in my basement, keep house clean, cook, do laundry I feel that I can't make a dent in anything at the moment (esp. my homework).  And I'm now dealing with the bank again because I can't pay the mortgage again this month.
 
I know I need to hang in there (I like your Tree saying, Kitt).  But my panic attacks started in again today and I know I need to stay calm to get ahead.  So, even though this isn't the panic forum....perhaps Jamie or Kitt....do you have ideas on how I should handle this?
 
Thanks,
Cass

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/13/2010 4:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Cass,
 
Some of this is stuff you already know my friend.  When you feel yourself trying to go to fast but not making any headway. ~ slow down and regroup. 

Know your personal limits. One of the chief causes of anxiety is when we take on more than we can handle. Know your limits as to what you can do and how much you can do.

First of all I am very familiar with the wood project as we have a wood burner.  idea Do you have friends,  family,  neighbors, teens around or someone that would be willing to carry in the firewood ? 

Remember right now one of your priorities is to finish the class as that is a step toward making life better for all of you. Cleaning the house - poo on it,  just do the absolute necessary and name those dust bunnies.  I do !  You can always do a bang up job after you have  taken the Praxis exam . Keep your meals simple and don't worry if you eat soup and sandwiches frequently for now.  Cereal is good for supper along with fruit and milk -  Trust me I have done this with my kids.

I went to college with 4 children at home and worked too, so let me tell you you can do this and you will make it through.  I stocked up on frozen Pizzas and would throw one in the oven.  I had my kids help me study.  I made flash cards for them to quiz me.  I figured we were all in it together.  Yup, I had anxiety but I had a goal and it nearly broke me but I refused to give up.  My hubby had major Crohn's surgery during this time but I studied in his hospital room. 

I guess it all comes down to  managing  your time effectively - keep a to do list or daily planner and make sure to include time for yourself and time for stress reduction activities. Give priority to the most important activities and do those first. When your feeling really anxious step back and take some big deep cleansing breathes.

Right now your priorities include keeping a roof over your head,  that one ups some of the other stuff so no guilt for doing what works to get you through this time problem. Throw the load of clothes in washer while your making dinner. Set your alarm clock 30 minutes earlier to give you a chance to regroup before you start your busy day.

Try self talk, tell yourself you are fine. I believe in you so believe in yourself. 

So dear Cass, one step at a time, one problem at a time.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt

 


~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Post Edited (stkitt) : 10/13/2010 4:17:57 PM (GMT-6)

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