I should know better than to be taking the motrin without food. Let me entertain you with the gist of our conversation on that.
The doctor "That's quite a lot of motrin. I recommend you limit it to no more than nine a day. And you should be taking them with food. You have been taking them with food, right?"
Me "No. A lot of time I take them on an empty stomach. First thing in the morning, I'll take three of them . . ."
He looked aghast when I told him that.
The doctor. "Don't do that anymore. They're not good for the stomach. Have they given you problems? Have you had any stomach pains?"
Me "No, actually, I haven't. In fact, motrin doesn't seem to bother my stomach at all, and it seems to knock the pain out pretty well. Now if I take just one aspirin, that will kill me."
He shook his head slowly, and I could tell he was in thought. I could also tell he didn't like what he was hearing from me. "I'll refer you to the pain clinic, but we also need to run a blood test, check on your liver and kidneys. Let me write those scripts up for you."
(I know, I'm an idiot. Motrin had become such a common thing for me, I didn't even think of the long-term consequences. I can honestly say I've taken it on a regular basis for nearly two years now. Now I'm going to worry that I've done something irreversible. Stupid, stupid, stupid . . .)