How to Help Someone You Love...?

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HopingForBetter
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/12/2010 4:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello all,
I would just like to start out by saying that all of you are so brave and kind to share all of your information and experiences with others on the internet to, at least, try to help them.
I am not someone who is suffering from depression...well, not yet anyways. It is my boyfriend. He is getting more and more sad every day, and it was only today that I had researched depression on the internet and found out the symptoms of depression and he has them all. I don't know how to tell him I think he has it. He's a very strong-willed individual, has lots of pride (as a man does) and I don't know how to tell him that he's, or how he'll interpret it, as at a weak point right now. Maybe I'm taking this too far, and over-thinking it, but I'm still nervous. I don't know how to tell him. How do I tell my boyfriend that I think he's suffering from depression and needs to seek professional help, because I don't know how to explain his feelings?
I feel so helpless sometimes...because I usually have the answer to most of his questions or I finish his sentences...but those times when he asks me, in all seriousness and looks me right in the eye and asks "why do YOU think I feel like this?" and I can't do anything except sit there and say "I don't know..." It hurts so much to see him hurt, when I know what he can be, what he will be, and he can barely see himself clearly in the mirror. Please help.

xo Paige

Hanstar
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/12/2010 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
my boyfriend told me to my face that i should go and see a counsellor, and try and get my problems out in the open (i'm not depressed i get depressive moments (and sadly my boyfriend has been on the end of those)
I know its a difficult subject to get on to ... but believe me maybe its a good idea to air the subject.

Han xx

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/12/2010 5:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Look him right in the eyes and say, I think you are depressed and need to see a doctor about this soon. Lets start at the GP and go from there.
If he argues tell him you have researched this and he fits the picture. And that this thing can be helped by seeking some treatment. Ask if he wants to see what you have discovered on the internet. Maybe find a "test" to see if you are depressed.
You may have to enumerate what you see, lack of appetite, loss of interest in things he used to like, avoiding friends, unable to sleep/sleeping all the time.
Its hard for a depressed person to see them as accurately as their loved ones do sometimes.
You never know what his perception of getting help is. Could be he is afraid of being plopped right into the mental hosp. forever. Maybe he's afraid you will ditch him.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. Depressed people have trouble expressing all their fears.
Could be he's afraid that someone might find out he's seeing a shrink. Thats why its helpful to see the reg doc first, and get blood tests etc done to make sure it is not a physical thing. Perhaps will prescribe a course of antidepressants right then and there.
Hope this helps
You have come to a very supportive place
Sandy

He's lucky to have you. Be your sweet, gentle self and lend your support.
BP II
Severe depression

HopingForBetter
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/14/2010 12:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you. I am going to try that the best I can. He has his moments and it's hard to choose a moment to tell him how I feel. I don't want to bring him down when he's having a good day, you know? I'm not sure what my plan is going to be, but I will take both of your advice and keep it in mind. He's a great man, and I love him a whole lot and I don't ever want to lose him, especially in a way that I could have helped with, a way I could have prevented.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

xx Paige
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