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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 10/13/2010 2:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,

I've been off the forum for about a year but having a hard time again. Just really not happy with decisions I've made and can't turn off the voice inside, telling me that I'm stupid for choosing the wrong path when there were better opportunities that I just didn't think were the best options at the time. So now I'm just trying to get through my last semester of school, which is hard to do when you're depressed. Just need some support for the next couple months so I can stop thinking about the past and start looking into the future.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 10/13/2010 2:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Well it's nice you are back. Please take care of yourself. Sometimes it's hard trying to stop thinking about the past. But there's no sense in dwelling on it because you can't change it. You can only change your future.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/13/2010 3:27 AM (GMT -6)   
When there are a number of paths, its difficult to know which to choose. You made the best choice you could at the time.
Hindsight is 20:20
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Severe depression

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/13/2010 9:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey there,
Glad to see you back with us.  Please do not beat yourself up as perhaps your decision is OK but your mind is trying to play tricks on you.  Notice when your thoughts turn toward the negative. Your beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect your reaction to it. Negative thoughts and beliefs about something   can trigger physical, emotional and behavioral responses.
Try to stay in the present and just take it one day at a time. 

The description of staying in the present is simple. Be so completely absorbed in the moment that there is no room for any past or future thinking interference but a simple explanation does not mean it's simple to do. Let go of the what if thinking and just keep on  moving forward. 

We've got your back so hang in there.



Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 164
   Posted 10/13/2010 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Wasn't around when you were on the forum, but I have that same problem of looking back at decisions I made and blaming those decisions for where I am now.  Because studying history is one of my passions, it makes it even more difficult to separate myself from dwelling on the past (at least my past).   
I expect to be around here for quite some time as the members are awesome  turn   and they have in just a few short days helped me find some direction I didn't have before!  So know you have someone new here who has to deal with that same problem day in and day out.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 62
   Posted 10/13/2010 12:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Like others have said "you can't dwell on the past". There is not a person alive that hasn't wished at one time or another that they could turn back time and change the past. Unfortunatly that is impossible and all you can do is live today and look forward to tomorrow.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 10/17/2010 10:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the support and understanding, everyone. I've had a problem with striving for perfection for a long time, so when I feel I've messed up, I'm really hard on myself. I chose my path based on the information I had at the time. Had I had different information, things might have turned out differently, but I'll never know. It's also weird because although I'm regretting something that happened only 2.5 years ago, I feel I was so much younger then and like I'm a different person now, and I'm living with a result of a decision made by a person who isn't even me anymore. Isn't it strange that we are required to make big, important decisions when we are so much less wise than we become only a few years later? Just had to get that out, but I will continue to try to tell myself to "let it go" and live in the moment.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20113
   Posted 10/18/2010 4:06 AM (GMT -6)   
hi NW. jamie here. thx for sharing your situation. yeah, "the here and now". we, are here for you. depression sucks, esp whilst studying. i need to finish some stuff myself. hang in there. with compassion, jamie. i hope you continue to post. jamie.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 10/18/2010 8:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi NW,
I understand what you are going through. We have all made decisions that didn't turn
out the way we were hoping. I know this is not easy but you have to learn to not be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes but when that happens, pick yourself up and move on. Understand what you may have learned from the situation. You can't change or solve anything by dwelling on the past. The past is past, the future isn't here yet. Today is a gift and that is why it is called the present. So keep yourself in the moment and as you know we are all friends here and always willing to listen to problems and help to support you in times of need. Take good care of yourself.
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