Back. Luckily. Some maniac driver decided to use the berm to get ahead of us on the freeway ramp. Nearly clipped the front of our car - it had to have missed us by just inches - would have sent us spinning into freeway traffic. Besides almost causing a major wreck, he would have delayed me from coming back to post what I said I would post to you. You might have lost your faith in Scythia. You might have never come back to this particular forum. What that driver could have caused . . .
But it didn't work out that way - and I'm here to continue. You are lovable, BlueMoon. And you do have at least two new friends now - Frances and me.
I lost most of my friends, too. But I've gained a wealth of friends here in just a very short time, and they are way better than the friends I lost. They are very caring and very cooool people! I used to worry constantly about losing my friends, but in just a week here, my worries now are only if I'll remember their names . . .
You say you can't be proud of anything - you should be proud that you posted here. Like I said in my first reply. That takes a lot of courage! You are stronger than you realize, with time you will see that is true. Sure, it's possible that you might never find a man who really loves you, but it was also possible for me to have met a quick demise on the freeway today - but that didn't happen, and I know in my heart that you will find someone who loves you. Believe in hope. Believe in inner strength. I know you don't feel like you have any, but I am sure you do.
Stay here. Come back and vent and chat. Tell others how you feel, and you will see that they have been through what hurts you now. I'm a scientist by profession. I deal in probabilities all the time. I believe there is a high probability that just because you dropped in here, met Frances and me (God, Frances has such a positive attitude for having gone what she's been through, doesn't she - you will stay, you will find help, and you will turn your life around. I'm counting on it.