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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/14/2010 10:59 PM (GMT -6)   
found a note slipped under the door.
the mother has offically terminated the relationship.
firmly told to stay away. so i will, can't bang my head
against the wall no longer. very sad. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/14/2010 11:28 PM (GMT -6)   
jamiee,
 
It makes me sad to read this. I'm sorry for the way you're feeling, but please don't give up. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of this special friendship and know we are here to help you. 
 
Love hurts sometimes.
 
With gentle hugs,
 
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/14/2010 11:59 PM (GMT -6)   
yeah, toooo many darn times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thx kitt. i will need time. i invested heavily in this relationship. aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!

jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/15/2010 1:46 AM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry to hear that Jamie, may you heal quickly.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/15/2010 2:32 AM (GMT -6)   
thx awty, my heart has been ripped out and stomped on by a sadistic mother!!

jamie. i don't care about anything at the moment.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/15/2010 4:31 AM (GMT -6)   
totally guttered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-( :-( :-( :-( :-( jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/15/2010 5:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I think it is ok to feel that way at the mo Jamie, that is a normal reaction to such a hurt. Take as long as you need in this hard place, I promise, you will come out the other side.

Please be very patient with you, be gentle with you, take very good care of you at the moment.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/15/2010 6:09 AM (GMT -6)   
i don't know, was that upset that i put a large sign on my front security door. it reads:

i am a good caring and compassionate man. no more. better off single!!!

jamie. ps thx awty. means a lot.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

wolflover
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 10/15/2010 6:48 AM (GMT -6)   
awwww Jamie. I'm so sorry. That really sucks. You will get through this eventually. What doesn't kill you can make you stronger in the end. I know you don't feel like itll be that way now, but you can get through this. I prayed for you. I hope you can be happy again soon. You can find someone else, this isn't the end.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/15/2010 7:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh, I totally get the sign Jamie, but what I would love you to do, is this.

Bring the sign inside your place, fold it at the bit that reads, I am a good caring and compassionate man. That is your affimation to help start to build you back up again. The neighbours do not need to know your business, and the ex does not deserve the satisfaction of knowing she has hurt you.

Can you do that Jamie?

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/15/2010 7:20 AM (GMT -6)   
yeah. just rip it i will and trash it. thx awty for spending some time in helping me. much appreciated. jamie.

with compassion my friend. thx 4 the prayers, means a lot to me.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/15/2010 7:40 AM (GMT -6)   
i am a failure. i am so sad. :-(
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/15/2010 8:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, you are sad buddy, for very good reason, but I will never ever think of you as a failure. You have overcome so many things, I have read posts from you, I have seen how far you have come, and what you needed to do to get there.

You need to remember some of those things, yes, this suxs and hurts like buggery, and will take time to get over, BUT, I have faith in you, I know you have the strength to pull through this.

Frankly my friend, sometimes when we remain around dysfuntional people, they do more damage than good, this is her last haraaaah, you will find in a few weeks time, when things are more in perspective, that you got lucky to get out of it.

Please be very gentle and patient with you, please be kind to you Jamie, this is your job right now, xxxxxxx

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1208
   Posted 10/15/2010 9:14 AM (GMT -6)   
jamiee said...
i am a failure. i am so sad. :-(
 
you are not a failure jamiee, you are a caring, loving, compassionate man and it is a shame the mother has to be that way. the woman should stand up for you but if she cant there are other women who will be lucky to have you

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/15/2010 9:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Jamiee,
 
Ouch and I think you have so many emotions running through your head right now you are just totally confused and so sad.  Cry, my friend,  let out the emotions.
 

Coping with relationship breakup is  very painful.  But the challenges posed by such a deep loss can be turned into opportunities, enabling you to not only survive, but also thrive. I know it is way to soon to see the light but keep looking as there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. 

Keep on venting to us as we do know where your coming from and what you going through.

Remember, Jamiee,  the world is a better place because you live and serve within it.

Prayerful thoughts coming your way.

Kitt

 

 


Taygeta
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 164
   Posted 10/15/2010 10:14 AM (GMT -6)   
jamiee said...
i am a failure. i am so sad. :-(
 
You are sad - yes.  That is completely understandable!  But someone who writes poetry from the heart like you do -  that is not a failure!
 
You're going to say - ok, scythia, what does writing poetry have to do with my breakup - well nothing really - it doesn't change that, isn't going to change that.  But it speaks of your heart, and someone's heart goes beyond all that is physical. 
I barely know you, but I already know you.  The words you've said to me - you know those 2 good days I just had - you were part of bringing them to me.
Having this happen to you sucks.  I've got tears rolling down my cheeks right now while I'm writing this.  But the tears aren't really mine, they're yours.
Be sad, yes.  Be as sad as you need to be.  But don't believe you are a failure, even if you say it - we all say it about ourselves, and I would bet some time from now, you're going to see me post that about myself, and you're going to say, scythia, you are not a failure . . .  (darn well, I'm counting on you doing that for me  :-)   )
Scythia

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 10/15/2010 10:42 AM (GMT -6)   
Jamie,
Just want to echo what the others have already so wisely said. You are a wonderful person & are always so encouraging to me. You're right that you are caring & compassionate and anyone would be lucky to have you. But relationships are so hard -- probably the hardest thing there is in life. So much is out of your control.

I worked in the financial services industry before the markets crashed. And I got to see very clearly how happy people would get when their investments were making money & how angry/depressed they would get when the markets were down for a bit. It was probably the best job I could have had at the time because I learned that people are happy or sad or angry or distant & it doesn't have anything to do with me. They have their own issues & challenges in life and just because they're screaming at me to get out of their office doesn't mean that I did anything wrong.

I think the same principle holds true with love relationships oftentimes. You can do everything "right" but it still doesn't work out for reasons outside of your control. Who knows what's going on in the lady's life -- or her mother's life? I wouldn't assume it was anything you did -- especially based on the way it all went down.

Take some time to heal. Breakups are incredibly painful, regardless of the reason. But just know that you are a good person & when you're ready I'm sure there is some gal out there who would be a great match for you. Someone independent, open-minded, caring, sensitive & who loves every part of you. Sadly, it just takes a while to get there. And we find a lot of people who aren't great matches along the way -- we fall in love, we get hurt, we nearly give up & then someone comes along who makes us forget all the pain we've faced before, who makes it all somehow seem worthwhile.

I pray you find that gal soon -- just don't give up in the meantime, ok? You have too much to offer this world to just give up. ;)

peace & prayers,
frances

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 10/15/2010 6:22 PM (GMT -6)   
my prayers are with right now! This is a tough and emotional time, don't be afraid to let your emotions out!!! I know you will get through this, you are an inspiration to us here and i'm sure the people in your life. Be strong and know that we are here for you

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/15/2010 11:55 PM (GMT -6)   
thx. everyone, frances, geosojda, kitt, siobhan, scythia, worriedgirl, awty,

wolflover. thx, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/16/2010 6:05 AM (GMT -6)   
How are you doing today Jamie, you hanging in there

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/16/2010 6:53 AM (GMT -6)   
yes, poorly. but hanging in there. thx 4 checking in mate. jamie.

what about you? how are you doing? thx. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/16/2010 7:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Glad to hear it Jamie, me, I am riding the rollar coaster, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, lol

I am really proud of you for taking your sign down by the way!

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/16/2010 8:02 AM (GMT -6)   
how much for a ticket!!!!!!!!! you have made me smile, darn it!! small chuckle too!! double darn it!!!! i will be fine, am isolating just a wee tad. will need a few days. thx for your care and compassion. need sleep. fighting it. this happens when i'm on a downer. my typical form of avoidance coping. hoping it passes quickly, i am useless when the insomnia bites!!! thx heaps awty. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/16/2010 8:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Hold your hands above your head on the rollar coaster, and yell weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Jamie.

You are very much worth it Jamie, this will take time.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/16/2010 8:18 AM (GMT -6)   
yeah. it will. cheers, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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