Good Morning and Welcome to HealingWell,
I am sorry to read of your situation as I know how difficult this is for you but I suspect you know the answers and you are just looking for validation to your thoughts.
From reading your post I feel your boyfriend has an anger management problem as well as controlling issues. Your said 75% of the time he is good ~ you need to decide how to deal with the 25 % that is not good. Putting yourself and your daughter in a situation where you are being verbally abused is not safe.
I am going to toss a few questions at you to help you think about what you have shared ~ "father figure" ! Do you want him to be the father figure to your daughter so when she grows up she will remember things like being hauled off her bike and yelled at to "SHUT YOUR MOUTH"? From your post I can see that you are very aware that this man is perhaps a bad choice for you as you are worth love and respect and never should you be a whipping post for someone else's anger.
Your daughter, IMHO, needs to be your number one priority. I left my first husband and took my 3 young children and got out of Dodge............verbal abuse and physical abuse are never right. No, I did not have much money and I got a job in a factory. No, I did not have family to support me so I moved to a new town and started over.
I would suggest that you talk with your boyfriend and let him know that you feel he needs help in dealing with his anger and controlling issues. His job, most likely, feeds his controlling issue as he works in law enforcement where he most likely has a license to be the top gun. However he needs to leave his job at work and not bring it home to keep you and your daughter in-line.
In no way am I criticizing you but I have been where you are and made some not so wise choices so I am here to support you and let you know I understand what your going through.
Gentle Hugs to you,
~~Kitt~~Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease. www.healingwell.com"If you can't change the world, change your world"