Yes, Blue with all above, and your folks, this is not the time to move far, far, away, especially with no job, and the haunting possibility of reuniting with old flame. Bad idea.
Long term, goal to be independent is a good one. Where you are, then elsewhere.
You do sound as depressed as anxious. Go to the GP and get checked out, maybe an antidepressant.
Short term goal, get on your feet and help around the house. Set an alarm to get up same time every day, go to bed same time every night. Eat 3 x/day, a little something healthy.
Do you journal? You have lots to say. I make lists of thoughts, plans ideas, pros/cons, etc. Re-read, revise, re-write.
Post Edited (Trying to Understand) : 10/19/2010 2:21:18 PM (GMT-6)