Phiiiieeeewwww, long long time. How long, like 2, perhaps 3 years? I still see some familiar faces around, Kitt, Jamie, how are you all doing? Karen, you still lurking here as well?
Anyway, for those interested, a brief history. I think I stopped visiting this place when stuff got even worse for me. I got into therapy, and after half a year started meds as well. Things were going a little bit better and I decided to try and go to university again. That didn't work out, before the first day stress made me so sick I couldn't do anything any more. So my therapist and I decided it was time to take another step and I got into 20-hour a week therapy with people my age. I was there for 9 months in total, and in that time I found the name for what I had / have. It is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and depression and social phobia where only side effects. Knowing what caused my sadness and insecurity helped a lot, and me being sick of being sick lead to me doing everything I found hard to do. For those who never heard of BDD, it is kinda like anorexia only you don't see yourself as fat, but as deformed. I felt like some alien experiment to recreate something that resembles a human, but failed. Every time someone would look at me, I would fill in what he or she thought and trust me, that wasn't very positive.
Anyway, right now I am off meds again, actually studying (environmental sciences), I live on my own again, and actually enjoying life for the first time in a long, long time. I changed from being unable to leave the house except in complete darkness with a hoody and a scarf on to walk around the campus without too much on mind. Girls used to be my worst nightmare, now I actually have a gf. Not to say all is fairytale like perfect, but it is getting close :).
So, there's my story, my sincere apologies for forgetting you all :(. I'll try to visit this place a bit more often and try to give this community something back for all it has done for me.
Cheers, and all the very best!