What is the point in life?

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ashleylespaul
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/19/2010 7:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Please help me, I don't know what to do. I live out in a little village in southern Spain and I feel so isolated. I have no family around here except my parents and virtually no friends. I went to the school in town, got bullied and hated for being non-Spanish. The people in this town hate my family because we are in their minds "rich" when we are not, we are actually facing a financial breakdown and are nearly broke. It just happens to be that we live in a big house which makes us look rich, and plus, we are not from here, so they throw stones at my house and verbally harrass me when I go out to the street.
I hate my life so much and I don't care if I sound like a loser, but I dont know what to do. I'm 16 so I have no independence and I just feel so so powerless. I can't drive, can't work, I'm basically stuck where I am. I've wanted to run away from home. I've been homeschooled most of my life so I've grown up being alone with no friends, and every attempt at going to school has ended with no friends anyway.
Right now I'm studying online for my A-levels so that I can go to University next year. My whole life depends on it. If I can't go,  Yes, I know I can't talk about that here, I'm sorry.
All I can see for myself in the future is more being alone, not having friends at University, and the idea of having a family disgusts me. I don't want to be a housewife because it will be like I've been all my life: stuck at home Nothing looks good as a future for me, I hate the whole idea of life. Why do people do this? They make their way through school, then make a family, and work so they can pay for that, then die. What the  is the point?? 
And I don't want my parents to have to deal with this. They're already broke and trying to take care of my grandma who has Alzeimer's and is basically dying slowly. We can't afford to put her in a nursing home.
My parents have no life either and it kills me to see it. Therefore I can't put this on them, too. They don't listen  they just say its hormones which is really unfair, because I think I'm clinically depressed. It's literally been years since I felt happy and not stressed anxious and depressed. I feel like there is no help for me in this place, because there are no services at all. And I'm just sitting in my home day after day, wishing I could see people.
Please help me.
 
<Edit> per forum rules which you have noted you have read.  Sorry.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/19/2010 9:21:53 AM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/19/2010 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Ashley,
 
I am so sorry you are in such a low place right now and I truly feel you need to talk with someone so I have done some research to provide you with a contact. 
 
Talking openly about how you really feel can be like opening a door.  Talking puts you back in control and reveals the choices you have.  Many people feel pressured into hiding their feelings  of concern not to burden family.  But hiding under a calm exterior only saves the problem for later and the stress can build up until it becomes unbearable.  Don't leave it that long.  Please check out the information here and talk to someone who can help you through this depression.

To contact Costa Blanca Samaritans, call the helpline on

902 88 35 35.

CBS receives no benefit from operating a national number, we have this as it means people can call us from anywhere in Spain and get through on a single number, regardless of which geographical CBS branch is “on-duty.” We are here for you between 8p.m. and midnight each weekday evening.

Outside of these hours, our Samaritan colleagues in the U.K. will welcome you on 00 44 8750 90 90 90.


~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/19/2010 9:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Ashley, you never know what is around the corner. My advise to you, is stop stressing, relaz as much as you can, get through the home schooling, when you move onto Uni, that is going to be an adjustment, and will really open your eyes to the possibilities out there.

It saddens me that you said you wish you had no family, take it from someone that doesn't, it sucks not having a family, especially as Grandma is sick, these are the special times you should be holding dear to you with her in her more lucid moments.

I am sorry that you are hurting so much, many here understand what that feels like, be patient, as you branch out in life, you will see that life is far more than being a housewife, working and then dying, I promise you that.
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