Please help me, I don't know what to do. I live out in a little village in southern Spain and I feel so isolated. I have no family around here except my parents and virtually no friends. I went to the school in town, got bullied and hated for being non-Spanish. The people in this town hate my family because we are in their minds "rich" when we are not, we are actually facing a financial breakdown and are nearly broke. It just happens to be that we live in a big house which makes us look rich, and plus, we are not from here, so they throw stones at my house and verbally harrass me when I go out to the street.
I hate my life so much and I don't care if I sound like a loser, but I dont know what to do. I'm 16 so I have no independence and I just feel so so powerless. I can't drive, can't work, I'm basically stuck where I am. I've wanted to run away from home. I've been homeschooled most of my life so I've grown up being alone with no friends, and every attempt at going to school has ended with no friends anyway.
Right now I'm studying online for my A-levels so that I can go to University next year. My whole life depends on it. If I can't go, Yes, I know I can't talk about
that here, I'm sorry.
All I can see for myself in the future is more being alone, not having friends at University, and the idea of having a family disgusts me. I don't want to be a housewife because it will be like I've been all my life: stuck at home Nothing looks good as a future for me, I hate the whole idea of life. Why do people do this? They make their way through school, then make a family, and work so they can pay for that, then die. What the is the point??
And I don't want my parents to have to deal with this. They're already broke and trying to take care of my grandma who has Alzeimer's and is basically dying slowly. We can't afford to put her in a nursing home.
My parents have no life either and it kills me to see it. Therefore I can't put this on them, too. They don't listen they just say its hormones which is really unfair, because I think I'm clinically depressed. It's literally been years since I felt happy and not stressed anxious and depressed. I feel like there is no help for me in this place, because there are no services at all. And I'm just sitting in my home day after day, wishing I could see people.
Please help me.
<Edit> per forum rules which you have noted you have read. Sorry.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/19/2010 9:21:53 AM (GMT-6)