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Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 10/22/2010 8:38 AM (GMT -6)   
My husband died last night. He had heart trouble. Like I said, I'm in shock. Can I get some prayers? Thanks!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/22/2010 8:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh dear Potsie,  You have my prayers and my deepest sympathy.  Please take care of yourself.
 
Blessings,
 
Kitt
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

krissymichelle
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 10/22/2010 9:03 AM (GMT -6)   
So sorry for your loss...Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers
 

Geosojda
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 262
   Posted 10/22/2010 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   
so sorry to hear that! hugs and prayers to you
Depression, A/P
Lexapro 20mg
Wellbutrin 100mg 2x per day

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/22/2010 9:15 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry to hear this Potsie - over the next few weeks, you are likely to feel very dissconected as the world moves around you. I ask the universe to send you only loving and caring people at this stage. I ask that you are given all the strength you need to get through what is ahead of you.

I am deeply saddened for you, please be gentle with you, be patient with you, I will hold you in my thoughts

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 10/22/2010 2:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Prayers coming your way --------------> Potsie

So sorry for your loss. What a shock. May God's peace, grace and love be with you & your family.

Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 10/22/2010 9:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks so much. I've got company, but wish it was quiet. My hubby and I will be married 35 years next week.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/22/2010 11:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Awe, that's so sad. Can you go for a walk, to be on your own for a little bit Potsie? I know when I am upset, I need to be on my own to process things too.

Hold you close in my thoughts

Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 10/23/2010 6:29 PM (GMT -6)   
It's quiet now, so I'm enjoying it. Thanks so much for all the kind comments!

skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 3089
   Posted 10/23/2010 7:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh Potsie,

I am so, so sorry for your loss! You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

big hugs,
Skeye
chronic eye pain, depression, and anxiety
recently implanted with a neurostimulator with leads on the supraobrital & infraorbital (ophthalmic) branches of the trigeminal nerve, resulting in a 50% decrease in pain (yippee!)

moreAmor
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 49
   Posted 10/23/2010 10:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm very sorry about what happened. You and your family are in my prayers! May God bring you peace and comfort during this difficult time.
If it weren't for physics or law enforcement I would be unstoppable.

Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 10/31/2010 5:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks again for the great comments!! We had services, but it was small. We had him cremated, but I haven't found an urn yet. The reason we cremated him was it was a total of $1600, compared to $5000 to $10,000. I just couldn't afford it.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/31/2010 5:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry for your loss. You don't know me yet, and I don't know how I missed your initial post.
A marriage of 35 yrs is a long time, I'm sure you miss him very much.

Cremation is a very good thing to do. Glad you maintained the presence of mind to make a decision good for you. I have planned that for my husband and myself as it gets so very costly. Can't you buy an urn from the crematorium? You could ask them about having the ashes scattered at sea, or in a forest.

As stated before, you may have some challenging moments to come. Please feel free to post whenever you need to vent, get some support.

People are here for you.
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 10/31/2010 9:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Sandy! I would've gotten one from the funeral home, but they're so expensive! They have urns on Amazon that I've been looking at. I don't want to scatter them, I want him here at home. If I change my mind, I'd scatter them on a golf course. He always wanted to play golf but didn't get it done. Thanks again!

Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 11/1/2010 10:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Would anybody like to see my youngest sons(he's 23)eulogy? I was really impressed.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/1/2010 11:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes, that would be very interesting, how do we see the eulogy?
Your husband must have been SOME man to have a son so young deliver a eulogy.
Bet that as your heart was breaking, buttons were popping off your coat with pride and love for them both.
Wondered about that message in Polish, odd.
Glad you posted, how are you today? Have you been able to get some sleep? Eating a little something?
Keep posting

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/1/2010 11:30 AM (GMT -6)   
((((((((((((((((Potsie)))))))))))))))
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 11/1/2010 11:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Trying to Understand said...
Yes, that would be very interesting, how do we see the eulogy?
Your husband must have been SOME man to have a son so young deliver a eulogy.
Bet that as your heart was breaking, buttons were popping off your coat with pride and love for them both.
Wondered about that message in Polish, odd.
Glad you posted, how are you today? Have you been able to get some sleep? Eating a little something?
Keep posting


I can post it here if that's ok.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/1/2010 12:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Do it, waiting, think its OK, even if it wasn't, would take time before someone took it down. In the meantime, I'm all ears, or eyes I mean.
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 11/1/2010 12:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I had intended to write something long and compelling, something that could approximate the meaning my father held in my heart... but I find that I just can't put it into words. Over the past few days I've felt the most profound sense of loss of my life. Having to hold back the tears for several days straight is incredibly tiring. My life changed dramatically over the course of two hours; I would be surprised if I wasn't in shock. We knew it was a possibility, because of his declining health... but it was a thought we couldn't bear to think. But now, we must go forward; it's happened, and there's no changing that.

In his last few years, he worked himself ragged for his family. His ability to provide for us was the source of his pride, but it was also the source of his worries. He worked to his own detriment for us. He was truly one of the most selfless men I've known, and yet, I will regret forever that we didn't appreciate him as much as we should have.

As his health worsened, we faced new and difficult trials, as a family. We were fortunate enough to find several video clips of his days in Caper, and I'm glad he was able to see them. It restored our spirits when we needed it most. He always spoke fondly of his days in the band, traveling around the country, courting my mother, and fulfilling his rebellious streak. It points to his selflessness that he was willing to give all of that up, settle down, and forge a normal living for the sake of his fledgling family. He never lost the dream, though, and spoke often of his desire to get back into music. I'm thankful that at least the video clips survived to tell the tale.

He was not a strict man... but neither was he inattentive. It always seemed to me that, when I left the house for whatever reason, it would cause him great anxiety and stress. I also know that, during the time I was quite sick and in the hospital, it brought him a great deal of hardship. It was obvious how much he worried, even about the smallest things. (pause) I admired him for that. In a culture that looks down upon men being emotional, he stood against the trend, and made it obvious to those he loved just how important they were to him.

Everyone always compares me to him. I always said I didn't really see the resemblance, but I realized as time went on what they meant. I can only speak for myself, but I felt a special kinship with him. We would often have discussions late at night, and I felt we were on the same mental wavelength. His ability to follow tangents in conversation was truly one-of-a-kind... so much so that I sometimes lost track of just what he was talking about. Even so, it's clear to me that he had a passionate soul, and a vivid imagination. While I only had 23 years with him, I feel that he did his best to make those years worthwhile. I can't claim that I've always made good decisions, but everything good I did, I did with him in mind. Everything I did, I did to make him proud.

Though we'll never see or hear him again, he'll live on in our memories. I intend to do my best to honor those memories, and I hope you will too, for memories are the foundation of the future, and the memories of our loved ones are the most vibrant and important reminders that we are even alive at all. Don't forget the good times you shared with him, and don't even forget the bad. He was a complicated man, just as we all are, and he would want you to accept him for who he is. He may not have been the best father, husband, brother, or uncle, but he was one hell of a friend, and I'll miss him for the rest of my life.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 11/1/2010 12:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, that was priceless. Such a beautiful commentary. I'm sure that really touched your heart, and everyone there. Glowing. Wonderful tribute !

And how are you today?
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

Potsie
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 291
   Posted 11/1/2010 12:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm doing ok. Thanks for asking. My oldest son and DIL are moving in with us(my 23 year old son that wrote the above lives here already). My oldest son is 38. We'll be sharing expenses. It'll allow me to keep my house. The son that wrote that has Crohns.

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 11/1/2010 1:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Postie,

That has been written with such a deep love, it is truely beautiful. Thankyou for sharing your raw deep pain with us, we are honoured to be able to share it with you. I always feel very priveledged when someone shares thier stories with us, and I am so deeply sorry for you and the family.

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