Relapse of depression after 2 years?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 49
   Posted 10/23/2010 11:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I haven't been here in about two years. Didn't have the need to. Just a quick recap - I'm 20, junior in college. Had depression for pretty much my whole life. Loner/painfully shy in middle and high school.

But once I entered college, my depression seemed to disappear at the end of my first semester. I loved school, fell in love with learning, even got my first boyfriend. I got this rush I'd ever had before. For the first time ever, I said I was happy, and meant it.

I broke up with my boyfriend this summer. It was hard. He was my best friend, but it just wasn't working out. And I got a case of pride. All my life I'd been insecure and felt like I'd never be appreciated. After I broke up with him, I had all these boys calling me and hanging out with me. I felt like I was on top of the world.

Then I came back to school, feeling better than ever. My schedule though has been so grueling. I only have 3 classes, but I have to go an hour away from my home twice a week for additional classwork. I run on about 3 hours of sleep per night on average. At first I was still doing great. Then the exhaustion got to me. I'm so tired, and the depression is sinking in again.

I'm scared. My new friends don't know about my whole history; they just know the happy, laughing person. I can't talk to anyone about this, not even family, cuz I'm an adult now. I've been so busy, I haven't been able to schedule an appt with my therapist. I know I'm stretching myself too thin, yet I feel like I need to continue this grueling schedule to prove to people I can handle it, that I can take care of myself. They're all expecting me to, anyway. I've learned that as an adult, no one will be there for you if you need to cry.

I'm going to make time to see my therapist again regularly though to fix this. Because I had negative thinking patterns my whole life, I know how easy it is to sink back into this. I don't want to keep fighting this my whole life though. Did anyone here ever have depression relapses? How did you deal with them? And does anyone have any advice for college students with depression and busy schedules?

Thank you for reading this far. This is the first time I've told anyone (even strangers online) how I feel.

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/24/2010 9:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Great advice above.

You felt so good and then piled yourself up with stress. You aren't even getting adequate sleep. When you address these things, and get a therapist, you will feel better.

Yes, there are relapses in this thing. For everyone You arent alone.

Refreshing to hear that you broke up with your boyfriend and moved on and found out how much more there is to life. !
Severe depression

Respect baby steps. Most work gets done an inch at a time. Just break ground.

Some get annoyed that people are so odd; lucky folks know that's the fun part.
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