Siobhan: You in return hit the other nail on the head in everything you said!!!!
One of those: "a lot of depression would dissolve if we had more understanding professionals on board. thats what the medical system lack severely as far as i am concerned.........................a great excuse for killing a load of vulnerable people off. and to me that is sad."
That is exactly how I feel. I feel as if I'm being killed off - slowly, painfully. With as little attention as depression seems to get, I feel it is inevitable that it will destroy everything about me and that there is truly no clear direction as to what will stop that from happening. And in ways, the medical community just looks the other way.
We do understand it better because we experience it, and they (medical community) do not really understand it because if they did, they would be treating it in an entirely different light. They would be searching for answers, not bandaids.
Jaime: I cannot agree more with your comments - all of them!!!!
In particular: "for me i know of my compunding factors, i know of my physical contributors, my addictive contributors and of my environmental contributors and of cause and effect situations, of baggage and of past trauma. this is how i define my depression, not just mental and not just physical, and not just about my current and past health, but of where i am at at any given time and date."
That is me to a tee as well. What works one day, doesn't work the next. I float in and out of depression not understanding the intertwining of all the causes and effects, though I know what many of my triggers are. This past weekend was bad for me because I was depressed during the day, and even physical activity didn't shake it off - why - because I have situational things I can't resolve, and this weekend those overwhelmed me. Then on top of that, I had insomnia both nights because I couldn't get that stuff out of my head - my situational things. So I'm tired now, and fed up with a mind that cannot keep on an even keel, and I'm angered by my inability to do anything about it.
Yes - it is a tomography of some type that can be done - I couldn't think of the word last night.
Understanding depression is everything to me. Why. How. When. It's part genetic for me, I'm sure of that based on some family history I cannot bring up on this forum as it would be purged - so you know what I am talking about. And the second part is environmental, which I believe feeds off the way we think - which is not the way most people think.
Depressed people are more in tune with reality than your "average" person. I've always thought that I was more in tune, and I had confirmation of that recently through my therapist. I've gone through life seeing things people don't get, and I've always wondered why. I ask questions no one has thought of asking (or are afraid to ask), I question what is taken as truth, and I see people for what they are, and it frustrates me to no end that others cannot see the things I see. In fact, I can often recognize people by their behavior more easily than their appearance. I don't necessarily go out of my way to study someone's behavior, but subconsicously I must, and those behaviors must be burned into my memory.
What follows describes me, but I am pretty sure it is also describes Jamie, and Siobhan, and everyone else that suffers from depression. We (the depressed ones) are closer to reality and because of that we see and feel the pain of reality more (people, animals, whatever). And one result of that is it makes us more compassionate and empathetic toward that pain, but the other result is that the pain of reality effects us more (we can't tune it out), and it messes with our ability to function in a world in which much of the pain gets swept aside or ignored.