Need to let it out

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annie.d12345
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 10/28/2010 12:55 PM (GMT -6)   
IM JUST SICK AND TIRED OF MY BOYFRIEND AND HIS CAREER AND HIS STRESS AND HIS PROBLEM AND HIS FAMILY AND HIS TENSIONS.....HIS HIS HIS HIS. ITS ALL about HIM. WHAT HE IS SUFFERING WHAT HE NEEDS. WHAT about ME? AFTER TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING OF HIS I GET TO HEAR

IM NOT PUT ON EARTH TO MAKE YOU HAPPY,NOR HAVE YOU RECRUITED ME FOR IT.

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IS HE DOESNT EVEN THINK HE IS DOING ANYTHING WRONG. DOESNT EVEN REALIZE HE IS HURTING ME. AND WHENEVER I HAVE TRIED TO SHOW HIM HE JUST MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY BY MAKING ME FEEL THAT I DONT TAKE CARE OF HIM.

I LOVE HIM SO I TAKE ALL HIS CRAP BUT THAN I THINK HOW LONG? HE WANTS US TO GET MARRIED. HOW CAN I MARRY A GUY WHO DOESNT CARE EVEN ONCE TO TRY AND DO SOMETHING FOR ME. ITS BEEN 10 MONTHS AND HE HAS NOT DONE EVEN ONE .....SINGLE THING FOR ME. HAS NEVER STAYED UP ALL NIGHT TO TALK TO ME,NEVER SENT ME A RANDOM MESSAGE,NEVER GIVEN ME A RANDOM CALL AND LET ALONE ANYTHING ELSE. WORSE ALL MY EFFORTS OF MAKING HIM FEEL SPECIAL ARE DISMISSED BY HIM.

I MADE HIM A CAKE,I SAVED MONEY AND SENT HIM A SHIRT. MADE HIM CARDS. AND AFTER ALL THAT ALL HE SAYS TO ME IS GIFTS ARE JUST A WAY OF GIVING SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT GIVING OTHERWISE. AND I ASK WHAT AM I NOT GIVING HIM?

IM GIVING HIM TIME,SPACE,LOVE,AFFECTION,ATTENTION.EVERYTHING.

HES NOT A KID AND NOR AM I. WE ARENT IN SOME HIGHT SCHOOL ROMANCE. HE NEEDS TO KNOW HES HURTING ME. BUT IM SCARED THAT IF I GO AWAY FROM HIM HE WOULD FIND A WAY TO BLAME ME AS ALWAYS.

I NEED TO MAKE HIM REALIZE HIS FAULT.

IM GOING NUTS. I FEEL IM GIVING MY HEART AND SOUL TO SOMEONE WHO DOESNT EVEN REALIZE THAT SOMEONES DOING SOMETHING FOR HIM.
“Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to”

Annie

Post Edited (annie.d12345) : 10/28/2010 12:59:21 PM (GMT-6)


CourtneyL
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2010
Total Posts : 54
   Posted 10/28/2010 2:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with your boyfriend explaining everything that youre feeling.  Hes being very selfish and if he doesnt want to talk then be persistant.  If he is mature enough to discuss marriage then he needs to be mature enough to talk and listen to what is bothering his girlfriend.  Try not to place too much balme on him though becuase that will make him feel defensive.  Just explain youre feelings and hopefully he will realize how self centered he has been.  Good luck, Ill be thinking about you
Hugs
Courtney

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/28/2010 3:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Annie,
 
Well you have let it out smhair .  Now can you take a step back and look at what it is that you love about him as you seem mighty unhappy with this guy.
 

Most people have this feeling inside them but are not sure whether it is simple affection, a crush or maybe love. Well love is a lot more stronger word than simple affection and attraction towards someone. Love involves much more than what you find in simple attraction towards someone.

You're happy when your partner is? - If you feel joy when your partner is happy and just a mere smile or his/her face gives you happiness than you are definitely in love with that person. Love is all about feeling one with your partner therefore you tend to enjoy all joys, lovely moments, moments of satisfaction with your partner.

So is this the guy you truly want to spend the rest of your life with  ???

Big breath and think it through clearly without the anger and the fears you are feeling right now.

I wish you peace and happiness but most of all I wish you love.

Kitt

PS - Gentle rule reminder:  Remember, using ALL CAPITAL LETTERS in posts is considered yelling and rude, plus it is difficult to read.  Thank you for your understanding.


~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
www.healingwell.com

"If you can't change the world, change your world"

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/28/2010 8:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Annie d-
You have made a break through ! At last seeing that it is HIM, not you. You have been bending over backwards for him, and he doesn't appreciate it, or you, at all.

You asked the question, why would I want to be married to someone like that? Sounds more like a life-time sentence than a marriage. You've invested or lost 10 mos with this ingrate already, why spend more?

Send him on his way, he is making you feel that things are your fault, and pulling you down when you need someone to bolster you up.

Hope you continue on this platform.

I heard that depression is anger re-directed back at yourself. Maybe you have been hiding your anger and that's what making you miserable. Bet you will do better without him and his chronic complaining. You need a MAN honey.

He sounds like the kind of person who will NEVER NOT have something to whine about.

So happy to read your post. Go Girl !
Sandy
BP II
Severe depression

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 10/29/2010 6:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Indentifying Unhealthy Relationships
The world is full of unhealthy relationships. In these relationships, individuals cling to one another allowing cord attachments to occur between them. Seldom is the sharing done equally. Actually if the energy sharing was done equally it would be silly to have the cord in place at all.

It is possible to be in a relationship without cording one another, in fact it is preferable.

Couples that share one life source ordinarily create a relationship in which one individual becomes weaker, the other stronger. The weakened person feels collapsed because of giving away his/her life source. The stronger person feels great for a time, but his/her appetite may very well increase, craving more and more of the shared energy. Sucking the other dry.

Or, there are gives and takers. You have been a giver.

You could look for another giver and discover true sharing

Post Edited (Trying to Understand) : 10/29/2010 6:27:35 AM (GMT-6)

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